Who is he anymore? Why doesn’t he give a damn? Knowing that he doesn’t; why does he expect anyone else to care? He sucks the life out of everyone and then wonders why they stay away. He is a bankrupt soul. She won’t let him put her in the red because she won’t give him the power or permission to do so. Their little girl asks, “ Is he ashamed of what he does?” And there is a clear answer to her alarming question: “ No he is not.”
He is a wreck who has tried to demolish other lives and yet there is one life he can’t touch. Oh, he persisted incessantly but he failed. His bitterness oozes out of the volcano that is his heart. The turbid lava oozes out and scorches everything that gets in his way. It is vile what he does, and he sees it not. Hatred blinds the soul and it does more than that. Animosity pierces his heart and he becomes the scorpion who stings himself to death. He inflicts his poison on himself and when he opens his mouth everyone runs for cover.
He wasn’t always a beast. She remembers when his touch was gentle; when she could lay her weary head on his shoulder and everything in her world was fine. He let her see the good guy in him when their love was new and budding. He gave her hope because she was running on empty. She let down the moat to her isolated heart just this once because back then he was a knight minus the shining amour. This knight was different because his armor was covered with the dents and chinks that come from the many wars he’d fought. He’d lost more battles than he wanted to admit. He still had bits of his heart left. She let him in.
That was then, this is now. The good memories persist in her mind because that is all that she has left of him now. He walks about the place looking to pick on the weaker ones. She dodges his flaming arrows. At night she goes to sleep alone and wondering when the end will come. Her tears drench her pillow as she pleads with her God to bring an end to the suffering. She slips away into her dreams of a better tomorrow where they are both free from each other. Where they both have found peace.
-Eva Santiago copyright 2012