THE CONFLICT

Frailty is a funny thing. It talked her into a compromising situation. When she was strong she would proclaim “ I will never do that! “ . In her might she could scale a wall bare footed and topple several giants with her hand tied behind her back. She seemed invincible.

CHRIST CONSCIOUSNESS HOLO https://www.thecompanyofheavenofficial.com/

Now things are different. Battles have scarred her and she feels herself wavering. What was once firm ground now has turned into sinking sand. She said she would never stumble in matters of her heart and she did just that because weakness is peculiar. Her flaws continually beg for her attention. She looks in the mirror and where once stood a Jedi, now all she gazes at are the accusatory fingers that point to her and blame her for things that aren’t even her doing. That was her undoing back then and she wonders if it’ll contribute to her demise now.

She heard those voices back then and that’s how she lost her way. They drowned out her own voice and she followed the wrong ones, betraying herself. Now the image in the mirror begs her not to do it again. She is fragile and is succumbing more and more each day to what is comfortable because she has grown tired of the battles.

The conflict is in her soul and she knows there is a way out but she finds herself enjoying the darkness more than she thought possible. Being in the light this whole time has exhausted her. She finds opacity comforting, it’s where she can hide away, not having to worry so much about anything. The darkness beckons her daily; it is where light hasn’t reached yet. Those places longing for light’s exposure is where she treads lately. What she doesn’t realize is that as she visits those places, they are no longer in the dark because by illumination, they become won over territory.

Her darkness sees the light and it comprehends it not. It surrenders to the brilliance and that’s how she overcomes her weakness.

“It’s not by might nor power but by my Spirit,” says the Lord.

” Sin is basically the places of the heart where The Light hasn’t reached yet.” -Kim Clement

https://www.thecompanyofheavenofficial.com/

BRAVERY HOLO https://www.thecompanyofheavenofficial.com/

ALMA’S STORM

She thought the menacing clouds in the distant horizon could only mean one thing: Her certain destruction. She feared being obliterated in to oblivion. So Rosalma battened down the hatches of her sail boat and prepared for the worst. Oh she had seen it coming from afar for a while. Having been in control of her situations all of her life she always knew what to do. But there was something different with these dark clouds she kept seeing approaching closer everyday; esta tormenta es distinta, this storm is different, she told herself. She knew it was bigger than any rain storm she’d ever experienced before. Rosalma knew it, could feel it down to her core. But she decided not to run. She knew whatever came, even if she were to be stripped of her sails and tossed about in turbulent waters, she’d make it…at least she asked SOURCE every night for strength.

The day the deluge came started out in a strange calm. Rosalma looked out of her 2nd story bedroom window and she knew the light breeze and sun playing in the clouds above were lies. She had seen what was coming. Suddenly the day grew overcast and the thunder rolled. Her heart skipped a beat. Should she stay and weather the storm or go out to meet it face to face?

She gathered her long copper toned locks in a messy pony tail, threw on her fisherman’s sweater over her jeans and boots; grabbed her back pack and headed out to the marina. The clouds were building and the hues of grey changed constantly from grey to charcoal; reflecting her fears. Undaunted, Rosalma , was going for it. She knew in the storm lay her destiny.

Vamomos Chica! GO girl, she encouraged herself. She found her sail boat; she’d christened her ALMA after her abuela, grandma who’d walked the earth for 98 years and taught Rosalma all about the storm. Rosalma headed out in Alma to find her soul’s purpose.

The water was choppy and the air now nippy. Rosalma tightened her raincoat a bit more snugly around her petite 5.2 frame. The water was merciless and kept over powering the deck. But, Rosalma kept on. She knew destiny’s end was ahead and staying where it’s safe would never get her there.

Soon enough the storm was beating Rosalma up and knocking her around, with fists the size of the Hulk’s. Every time she thought it would let up, the struggle intensified. She desperately looked up for any sign of her tomentor letting up and the storm today seemed relentless. It wasn’t quitting and neither was Rosalma.
Mid storm Rosalma’s spirit was sinking. She thirsted and no drop of water could satiate it. Water everywhere and none of it could quench. Water everywhere and nothing to stop the stench of hell’s flames. She wept and couldn’t tell where her tears began or ended. Her eyes swollen from the storm’s continuous beatings, felt like she was blind. She wanted to just lay there and give up and admit defeat on Alma’s deck. Who would blame her for quitting? Obviously this storm no man woman or child could overcome. So the minutes slipped away and her soul with them.

Until a light came from a light house. It was far off but the light shining from it was undeniable. Rosalma shot up to her feet. She steadied herself by grabbing on to a side rail. All of the sails on Alma now torn to bits; which hung on like rags on a homeless person. Her soul knew how that felt.
She had seen the light ; though it was faint, she knew her destination to Port Désirée was just ahead. Through the rain storm came peace.

So what now? ALMA was not tossed about anymore. The storm’s rage was lessening and the wind no longer howled in distress. The light tower was in full view straight ahead. Rosalma shook a little inside. What lay ahead for her? She had left it all behind; brought absolutely no baggage on this journey. She wanted to travel light and get places faster. But now with all that was familiar to her gone, she knew not what she’d face next.

Through the rain storm came peace and Rosalma knew it was all well worth facing the storm that threatened to finish her off as it had done to so many of her ancestors. This new place was like a new addiction she could not deny. The light here seemed blinding only becase she had been in doom and gloom for so long. Rosalma was here to stay. This new place of color and no grey was where she would stay…

LOVE AND LIGHT PORTAL HOLO https://www.thecompanyofheavenofficial.com/

HALF ALIVE AND HALF DEAD

They say you can’t miss what you’ve never had

Well I’m here to tell you that’s a big, fat, fucking lie

Today is my mother’s birthday

And I have missed her for my whole life

I don’t care ’bout your opinion

I don’t care ’bout your thoughts

This is my heart, not yours and if I tell you I’ve missed my mother since the day she died-

Fuck you for making light of it

October 19th always comes and I feel a dreadful heaviness

I want to cry but the tears don’t come

I want to scream and I do silently from deep inside my soul, where no one on earth hears me

My silent screams ricochet into a fantastic echo, resonating into heaven’s outskirts

As I get older this doesn’t get better

They say time heals all wounds….well, what about this one?

Why hasn’t time taken away this sting?

Good God! Why oh why, must I feel like this?

I won’t fight how I feel or it will persist

I sit here embracing this void

I sit here embracing this old, cold pain in my heart

I sit here with a tight knot in my stomach

I sit here holding my breath…for what?

I have no idea

Souls that connect will miss each other even if the connection was brief

Oh how I miss you, Mama

I have traveled this galaxy in search of you

My tears are strewn about The Milky Way

I look up at the heavens always trying to somehow make my way back to you

I ask The Big Dipper to dip into the vast expanse of the deepest heavens…to transport you back to me

I talk to The North Star and I ask Him to never let you forget me… to never let you forget us

I talk to the moon and I ask her to light your path and to somehow keep a vigil for me

How ironic- that you keep a vigil for me and not I for you

But you see, life here in the now is tough as of late

And sometimes I go to sleep at night only to wake up feeling half alive and half dead

And I know where you currently reside has to be a place teeming with life

Because there’s got to be a place that is way better than here

There’s gotta be a time that is better than this hour

So say a prayer for those of us here, Mama dear

Say a prayer for those you left behind,Mama dear

Keep your light on for me because I so desperately wanna make it back to you

Go to that fountain

There, in the midst of that garden

Right at the foot of that sacred mountain

Look at your reflection in that ever clear, crystal pool

And I hope you see me there, waiting to catch a glimpse of you

I hope I see you there,waiting from this side of life, for you to reflect love back to me….

Sea Glass

You picked me up from an unfathomable collection of sea glass

Held me to the light

Pleased with my brilliance

As the sun shone through

My opaque hues

Became an iridescent array of countless shades of color

From sky blue to cobalt

From cotton candy pink to sizzling magenta

From mint to emerald

From lavender to amethyst

I mesmerized you…

For so many years you studied me

You remained a student of me

Yet never fully grasped the subject

You grew frustrated

With each failed test

So you set out to:

Dominate, control and master: ME

You figured if you mastered me you’d be able to break into my heart’s code

That vault that once held as much treasure as the ocean’s floor for you

You became angrier with each passing year

When I could not, would not, should not fear-you

So you became a battering ram

In your weak attempt of getting through to me

You failed too

Had you only considered for a split second

To just ask me

I would have gladly handed you over my secret code…

Will I Ever Know the Outer Fringes of You?

Will I ever know the outer fringes of you?

Will I ever let you know mine?

What can be found in your out skirts?

I’ll tell you what you might find in mine…

A slow down sign or two

A proceed with caution sign too

I’ll only roll out the red carpet to welcome you into my inner city

IF and only when I find you worthy

In my outer city limits you’ll see a cheap motel

For the lone traveler just passing through

Stay the night and no longer than that

You’ll also find a cheap diner

Where you can eat on the go

You’ll find a gas station

One with several sun faded signs

Where gas is just 10 cents a gallon

I want you to hurry and fuel up

So you can leave as fast as you can.

Dying to Live, Loving to Die

What goes
Is what you let go
What stays is what you welcome
What flourishes
Is what you nurture
What dies
Is what you starve
What Fails
Is what you discouraged
What blooms
Is what you pruned
What is, is what you allowed
What is not, is what you dismissed
What you run away from
Is what will catch up with you
What you abandoned
Is what haunts you
What you refused to acknowledge
Is what will scream at you
In your loneliest of nights
The lie you told
Will tell on you
The truth you with held
Will annihilate you
The love you denied
Will embitter you
The hate you embraced
Will cripple you
You think you only die once?
Fools die stung by their own bitter gall
You think you only die once?
We’ve all been dying since the day we were born.

The Sea Owns the Tide

The sea owns the tide
Just like the moon owns the night
Just like the sun owns the day
Just like the stars own the sapphire hued heavens
Just like the light owns the dark
Just like the darkness owns nothing
Just like nothing owns the abyss

The sea owns the tide
Just like the grave owns life
Just like life owns all that is everlasting
Because death is not final

The sea owns the tide
Just like hatred owns what’s bitter
Just like the honey comb owns sweet nectar
Just like life owns breath
Just like blood owns life-
For the life of a thing is in its blood

The sea owns the tide
Just like summer owns growth
Just like fall owns decay
Just like winter owns stillness
Just like spring owns new life

The sea owns the tide
There’s never a way of knowing
Which way it’s gonna turn
The tide is high
It’s time to move on

LEAVING NORMAL

What does it mean to bring a new life into this world?
It means:
To love more
To hate less
To care more
To put an and to carelessness
To say more with fewer words
To put your love into action
And talk less trash
To feel more and stop numbing yourself
To leave your comfort zone
Only to find your trusted comfort zone, was actually more uncomfortable than you thought
You were just too afraid to admit it
To see more and stop turning a blind eye to life
To listen more and stop tuning life out with the noise you choose to filter the world through
To hear with your heart’s ear drum and follow that beat no matter where it takes you
To put away all those things that keep you blind, numb, deaf and dumb….

Mis Manos

I look at my hands
These hands that touched you first as you entered this life
They’re not extraordinary hands
They’ve not designed rocket ships
They’ve not drafted blue prints for a magnificent work of architecture
They’ve not operated on a human heart or brain
They’ve not touched millions of dollars
They’ve not been adorned with the most expensive of gold, silver and precious stones
They’ve not graced the latest fashion magazine covers
But I’ll tell you what they have done:
They have held babies from sun up ’til sun down
Wiped noses , bottoms and toes
Cooked, I can’t remember how many meals
Sewed, I lost track of the stitches and dresses
Disciplined several naughty toddlers
Wiped away, I forgot how many tears
Written so many words
On countless blank pages
Painted using fingers, brushes and knives
On many a canvas
Cleaned up the clutter
Washed all the clothes
And through it all, these hands that first touched you as you made your grand entrance
Into this great ,big world
Will always touch, caress and comfort you
I’ll hold your hand in mine
Together we’ll both learn of the mysteries of this universe.

FOR CLARA ISABEL: My Heart’s Song

I sit here with you snuggled close to me
I see you
I hear you
I feel you
And suddenly…
NOTHING
NOTHING
NOTHING else matters ,only this instant in time
More than this?
You know there is not a thing
My heart is exploding with the tiny pieces flying out
To touch God only knows what
And you’re touching me
In a way I never fathomed
My heart is so full
My pen is trembling
My knees are shaking
My heart beat accelerating
True love is here
Had my heart crushed so many times
And chances are it’ll be crushed some more
But one thing’s for certain…
I love you in a certain way
A love I never knew ’til you showed up
But one thing’s for sure, no matter how many more times my heart breaks
It’s ok
For you’re touching me with a new way of love
A certain way of love
A way that makes up for all of the crushing
Oh mi amor
My heart is exploding
And the pieces fly out to touch the expanse of the universe…

Eva Santiago

Author

Category: Writing Royalty

THE CONFLICT

ALMA’S STORM

HALF ALIVE AND HALF DEAD

Sea Glass

Will I Ever Know the Outer Fringes of You?

Dying to Live, Loving to Die

The Sea Owns the Tide

LEAVING NORMAL

Mis Manos

FOR CLARA ISABEL: My Heart’s Song

Author

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