Kids Say The Darndest Things

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Just the other night I heard my ten year old say the funniest line and as I pondered it, I saw how deep this girl can be at times. Raquel, ” Mom, why do people say they want to be on fire for God? That’s so stupid, don’t they get God wants them to be ALIVE?”

My daughter had heard a man say that  one day  a while ago when we used to take them ice skating. We met a man who had 3 kids and he claimed,” My kids are all on fire for God! Bless God!!”  One by one my kids came to me and told me that when they had spent time with the ” On Fire For God Kids,” they were amazed by all of the filthy things that came out of their mouths when their dad was out of sight.

Today my 13 year old son made another keen observation,” Mom, I notice that people who act like they’re devoted to God, really aren’t. But the ones who don’t act like it, they’re the ones who really are close to Him.” I love the way children just call it like it is.  Kids can smell out a phony from miles and miles away. We need to take great care with what types of behavior we model for our kids; they are ALWAYS watching us!

Don’t let love be a mere outward show. (Romans 12:9)

TFCL (talk from the clothes line)

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Mattina Buon Dio, ( Good morning God/ Italian)

 The sun is shining so brightly that as the singer says, ” I gotta wear shades.” I need you to be my Counselor right now. Of all the roles you play in my life, Counselor is one of my favorites because You never lead me wrong. Your advice is always spot on!

My family is grieved by a relative who is neglectful; he reasons that since he was neglected as a child, then the rest of us around him should pay and pay and pay.

Neglect-  Fail to care for or attend to properly. Habitual lack of care.

ne- Latin for NOT

glect- to choose, pick up

When we study the word neglect and break it down, we see that neglect is a CHOICE. I have had many close friends advise me that perhaps this relative of mine just doesn’t have the tools to care for properly for others. I disagree because this person certainly possesses the ability to care for his own person and might I add, he excels at taking care if his own needs.

Just for an example the other day we all wanted to go shopping; I normally hate this activity but that day I was in the mood. My relative refused to go and so we never went. The next day when we were all exhausted from having been very busy the day before, my relative decided that NOW was the time to go shopping and so off we went. Later on when we confronted him about the spite (definition of spite- malicious ill will prompting an urge to humiliate) everyone felt while we were in the store, he just smirked as he gave himself a congratulatory pat on the back. I was done.

 If you are reading this and you live with someone who fits the description above,you should know a couple of things: Proverbs 3:27 Don’t withhold good from someone entitled to it, when you have in hand the power to do it.

When someone holds back from doing good to you, that is evil; the opposite is true as well.

Proverbs 12:10 …but the mercies of the wicked are cruel. When a significant someone in your life willfully and habitually neglects you, that is cruel. There is no excuse for that. Remember the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. Do good to others when it’s called for and the same shall be done unto you.

Thanks for hearing me God, I’m so glad you never neglect me!

Parleremo di nuovo presto!

Just Believe: Part 8

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SET BACKS IN MY JOURNEY.

I have experienced some very low points throughout my battle with kidney failure. I felt like giving up once because it seemed like every time I was closer to getting a kidney transplant, some other new problem would pop up unexpectedly, thereby pushing back my progress. I have lost 5 chances of receiving a kidney because of this.

At one point I found out I was anorexic; I lost 60 lbs in 2 months. I started getting more and more depressed because of my condition so I would work out like a maniac. The only problem with that was that I was burning fuel without replacing it. I would look in the mirror and tell myself I had to stay at a certain weight; so I stopped eating like before only to make my parents and doctors worry more.

Then another time my weight totally went crazy when I was prescribed steroids that were supposed to help stop the bleeding in my lungs. It got to where I hated my whole look and I avoided looking in any mirror because all I saw staring back at me was this ugly, bloated, blow fish character.

My weight issues have messed with me so much that I had to go see a counselor for help. Thankfully, my weight has returned to normal.  I still watch everything I eat and sometimes I feel as if I should lose some weight.

Then there were the terrible mood swings and anxiety attacks I’ve endured. In order to treat the depression that stems from all of my health problems and treatments, the docs prescribed me pills to help me maintain a balanced mood. Well it got so bad at times; I felt like a ticking time bomb on some days, any little thing would cause me to explode just like an unpredictable volcano. I’m sure I was no fun to be around.

I became a human yo-yo and I hated it. So in order to deal with all of this I decided to change my whole image. I lost all the weight and  I tried to boost my ego with tattoos and piercings; I got as many of them as I could believing they would make me feel better about myself, but of course they didn’t because all that is superficial. The inside of me, my spirit man needed healing and no tattoo or piercing was going to heal THAT.

Just Believe:Part7

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I have been living with kidney failure since I was diagnosed with it when I was 14 years old. As I look back , this has put a strain on some of my relationships, especially the ones with my siblings. Being sick all the time has forced my parents to always be focusing on me and I know this made Tony, Amanda and Daniel feel less loved by them and more resentful towards me. At times this has put our love to the ultimate test.

When you’re a kid you don’t see life from the perspective that an adult has. You think you are the center of the universe and everything revolves around you. I have to be honest, at times I did use my illness as a way to get out of doing chores around the house that were my responsibility. I knew my siblings were onto me every time I got by with it and now I hate that I put them through that.

I know now that my parents never favored me; I’m quite sure that if it had been Tony, Amanda or Daniel who was sick instead of me,  they would have done the same for them as they’ve done for me. When I was younger, at first the extra attention was great, but now I’ve grown to despise it because I know everything can’t be about me and when you’re sick, everyone doting on you and constantly worrying gets old at times.

                                                                           

Sometimes I wish I could roll back the clock hands and go back to before all this started. I look at my family and I see that they are as tired of this as me. I’m a pretty basic guy and all I ask for at times is to have a single day when none of us are anxious about any of this and we can all kick back and live one normal day without worries about what lays ahead for me tomorrow.

We’re all grown up now; I moved out of my mom’s house and I live with Daniel in an apartment we share. He still looks out for me just like when we were back home. My sister Amanda always stops in to check on me too. Life is not cured; you learn to manage it or it’ll manage you. I believe I can speak for all of us that we’ve learned, by God‘s grace to manage my living with kidney failure and still find time to love, laugh and live.

To Young People Everywhere

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What happened to the time when a young man and a young woman could have a nice conversation without feeling as if they had to have feelings between them? We live in times where the media is constantly bombarding our children and us with sexual images and it’s gotten to the point where young people are almost paranoid to be friends with the opposite sex.

                                                                        

The school system hasn’t helped out our young people either. Since grade school children get “educated” regarding sexual relations; and might I add, not always between male and female. So it’s no wonder that by the time kids get to high school, a lot of them are sexualized before their time. But the schools aren’t the only ones to blame; too many parents let their young children watch age inappropriate movies and TV shows without a care in the world. They let Hollywood educate their children in all things including sex.

Young men and women: Please understand that not everyone’s after you. Every person you meet doesn’t want to go to bed with you. Everyone does not  have ulterior motives to manipulate  you into a relationship. Young men and women: The word FRIEND means someone to talk to. Next time remember that before you go and over analyze;  in doing so, you end up showing us how conceited you are and how big your ego is. Platonic friendships between males and females DO exist.

J.O.W.K. (journal of an over worked kid)

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August  5, 2005

Dear Diary,

 I’m starting this journal as a way to speak out for some of my peers who can’t speak for themselves. As a kid I see a lot of  my friends and class mates stuck doing things that they don’t want to do. Take for example my bf James; he has to play baseball because his dad was a ball champ all through his high school years and into college. The only reason he didn’t make it to the majors ( and he will tell EVERYBODY he meets about how close he came) was because he screwed up his shoulder pitching those 98 mph fast balls.

James’s dad Ron is a trip! He makes James get up at 4am and jog with him every morning and that’s during baseball season when it’s not baseball, James has to pick up another sport to keep him in the game ( that’s what Ron says anyways). James also has go to the gym everyday regardless of whether he’s playing sports or not.

James and I have stayed up late at night and texting back and forth about how much he hates all the sports he has to do. My dream is to be a fashion illustrator and as we text, I’m always sketching my ideas. James has even said that he envies me for the fact that I’m not being pushed to be the next great anything in my family. He says I’m lucky to have parents who let me be a kid and dream my own dream. I don’t know about any of that; what I do know is that I don’t envy Jame’s overly busy life style. More to come because I have to speak for a lot of kids I know at school who have to deal with this everyday of their lives.

Thanks for listening as usual… –Carla

Mirror, Mirror…

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I look into the mirror and what do I see?

A new creation

the old has been swept away into the sea-

of forgetfulness.

I have a new role to fill;the old one is obsolete,

it has been swept away

into the sea of forgetfulness,

nothing new exists there,only the old.

I look into the mirror and what do I see?

A new creation who trusts in You more than before.

It’s not a blind trust but a quiet certainty.

a steadfast determination from way deep inside;

a knowing You’ll see me through.

Gone are the old worries, fears and tears,

they tried so long to alienate and annihilate my soul.

Now I know for sure you have it all under control.

From my inception

came so much corruption and deception-

the worst of my enemies.

They fought hard to keep me blind and hopeless.

My blind guides led me to a pit of distress.

 The past has no eyes.

Looking back there for direction is  useless.

The past is an old sage holding up signs,

warning me of the paths I’ve tread on before

and reminding me those I should now avoid.

From my past I only take the good:

memories to warm and comfort,

 on my journey forward.

On my left and right my two loyal friends-

HOPE and FAITH.

During the worst of times

 I hoped against Hope,

while Faith carried me on her strong shoulders.

Before God builds a new creation,

He sweeps away the old debris.

A new foundation must rest upon solid new ground.

He doesn’t search in the rubble or debris,

those He cast into the sea.

A single cornerstone He saves:

My Faith.

Up ahead I see  brighter days.

God never REBUILDS;

for to re- anything is a do over,

from a pre-existing plan.

 The Master Builder employs  His own blue print:

THE ORIGINAL!

Mirror, Mirror on the wall,

I see me no longer

fearful, worried or angry.

 Mirror, Mirror on the wall,

 I like the new me…

I  smile at myself and I’m standing tall!

 

Eva Santiago Copyright 2011 

TFCL (talk from the clothes line)

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Bom dia meu Deus incrível! ( I picked Portuguese today!)

So many things to discuss with you today God, but alas I think I must thank you first for your presence in my life. What can I do for YOU today? What can I bring you? What can I say? Ok, I’ll just hang out here with you until you tell me 🙂

A friend of mine , his name is Tim just shared how he went to visit his grandfather’s grave. It’s been many years since he passed away and my friend told me that while at the cemetery a beautiful butter fly was following him around and would not let him be. Tim said that he told it to go and it did and when he called back the butter fly, it obeyed him. First of all, I applauded Tim for sharing such a wonderful story; I find it amazing when a grown man opens up and shares from his heart. Many men struggle with talking from their hearts and when my guy friends do so, I’m all ears because I know how difficult that can be for some.

Tim wanted feed back on what that butter fly represented and I shared with him that I thought  God had used that tiny winged creature to touch him and remind him that even though his grandfather isn’t here in this life anymore, his Spirit  is very present with his grandson. God, I wish people were  open to letting you blow their minds more. We are all curious about the super natural realm; really think about it, why do you think so many people turn to psychics and fortune tellers?

So I say to you Tim, never ever close up to God and His wonderfully unique ways that He uses to reach out and bless you. God is not some horrible task master; He so loves you and because He does, He sends you messengers, even that tiny butterfly to remind you how special and amazing you are to Him.

” For I know what plans I have in mind for you,”says The Lord. “Plans for your well being and not for bad things; so that you can have hope and a future. When you call to me and pray to me I will listen. When you seek me you will find me; provided you seek for me whole heartedly, and I will let you find me.”

Eu volto a minha grande Senhor! 

Book Covers

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You can never tell what a person is going through or what they’ve been through in their past just by casual observation. This Sunday I heard a lady talking about how her 16 year old daughter Autumn  was almost killed when a horse stepped on her when she was a toddler. Before I heard her story I had not paid much attention to this woman. Now that I know the painful trial she and her family endured, I want to know more about this person. I made my way to her and we exchanged pleasantries. Then I told her how I almost lost one of my kids when she was 7 weeks old. She looked at me with the same amazement I had when I first heard her story. This broke the ice and now I’m compelled to know this woman more.

Last month I heard another shocking story. I was sitting close to a man who looks just like the actor Morgan Freeman; I had to take a closer look to see if it really was. By the way, I am a huge fan of said actor. I kept running into this same man and I would imagine that he must have a grand life because the peace that surrounds him, gave me the impression that perhaps he wakes up everyday and sings,” Zippididoodah  Zippideeay, my oh my oh what a wonderful day!” Then I heard the most amazing story about this man.

He was handed a mic and he began to share his personal tragedy. He said his name was Willie; he had lost 3 children in a house fire and soon after he lost 2 more children in a second house fire. My lower jaw fell wide open and I felt it touch the floor below. I leaned forward as my heart began to weep for this man’s great loss. He also shared his faith and said that it was God that had brough him through the whole crisis. Before I left that day I made sure I went to him and I gave Willie a big hug; then something amazing happened, we found comfort in our hug because unbeknownst to Willie , I shared in his pain since I too have experienced the heart ache that comes from losing your whole family.

We are all books. We all wear different covers; some are dazzling and colorful. When I chose my own book cover for my book AS CLEAR AS CLAIRE GETS, I wanted it to be eye catching and inviting. My story is not an easy read and knowing that, I had to design  a colorful, fun, cover that would draw people in; once they’re in they’re  hooked. Other  book covers  are mild and peaceful betraying the tragedy that lies between the pages of the book.

Whatever you’ve been through, the cover doesn’t matter one bit. We all start out with a blank book and it’s up to us to fill in the pages. My book starts out with one tragedy after the next, but I’m going to make sure at the end of my life, on the last page, you’re going to read that I became an over comer and a conqueror through my faith in God. Some people’s books start and end in tragedy; don’t let that be you.  Choose instead to use your pain to help others. Then there are other books that start out in victory only to end terribly; what could have possibly happened?

Next time you meet someone new, pretend you’re in a library or a book store even, and be prepared to handle them with as much care and attention that you would give that book you’re considering as your your next great read. It is true: One cannot read a book by its cover; neither can one pass judgment on anyone just by merely glancing at their book cover.

I looked into your eyes,
I felt your pain.
I looked into my heart,
my pain is yours- we’re both the same.

Matthew 7:1-2

“Don’t judge so that you won’t be judged. For the way you judge others is how you will be judged-the measure with which you measure out will be used to measure to you.”

TFCL (talk from the clothesline)

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When you sing a song to God, hold on because He will sing it back to you!

When you praise Him for all that He’s done and all that He is; He will praise  and brag on you, His child.

When you give something to God,He gives it back to you-multiplied! everything he does is magnified.

When you worship God from your being, He shows you how much He adores you!

Hallo Gott! (Hello God, in German).

Yesterday I was telling a friend  how people can look at me as if I’m crazy for the way I praise you during a church service. Some people will give me funny looks  as if to say,” What’s the big deal here? Does she need really to go on like that??” I find it amusing that folks will literally fall apart when their favorite NFL team scores during a game, yet when it comes time to praise YOU, they turn suddenly shy and uncomfortable.

 So next time you pass judgement on someone like me, who has freedom to hoot and holler for her God; remember  if you have that kind of zeal for your favorite pro ballers, God would like to hear you go on like that about Him from time to time 🙂

Ich werde mit dir reden später … Ich liebe dich!