I have been living with kidney failure since I was diagnosed with it when I was 14 years old. As I look back , this has put a strain on some of my relationships, especially the ones with my siblings. Being sick all the time has forced my parents to always be focusing on me and I know this made Tony, Amanda and Daniel feel less loved by them and more resentful towards me. At times this has put our love to the ultimate test.
When you’re a kid you don’t see life from the perspective that an adult has. You think you are the center of the universe and everything revolves around you. I have to be honest, at times I did use my illness as a way to get out of doing chores around the house that were my responsibility. I knew my siblings were onto me every time I got by with it and now I hate that I put them through that.
I know now that my parents never favored me; I’m quite sure that if it had been Tony, Amanda or Daniel who was sick instead of me, they would have done the same for them as they’ve done for me. When I was younger, at first the extra attention was great, but now I’ve grown to despise it because I know everything can’t be about me and when you’re sick, everyone doting on you and constantly worrying gets old at times.
Sometimes I wish I could roll back the clock hands and go back to before all this started. I look at my family and I see that they are as tired of this as me. I’m a pretty basic guy and all I ask for at times is to have a single day when none of us are anxious about any of this and we can all kick back and live one normal day without worries about what lays ahead for me tomorrow.
We’re all grown up now; I moved out of my mom’s house and I live with Daniel in an apartment we share. He still looks out for me just like when we were back home. My sister Amanda always stops in to check on me too. Life is not cured; you learn to manage it or it’ll manage you. I believe I can speak for all of us that we’ve learned, by God‘s grace to manage my living with kidney failure and still find time to love, laugh and live.