30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 20

Please refer back to my earlier posts and read what this challenge is about so that the later posts make sense :)

Day 20 Question #20: Besides something directly related to the family (i.e., the birth of a child), what has been the most exciting day of your life?

Answer: It’s Sunday so I looked for an easy question! The day I received the first copy of my first self-published book came to mind right away when I read this question.  I began  writing the book in 2007 and it was the most amazing journey I have ever under taken.  Writing your own life story is very difficult; I had to fight the nagging inner voices that whispered things like: You aren’t famous, who’d want to read about your life when you haven’t gone to the moon or stood on the red carpet? Everyday I had to keep believing in myself and fight all the negative voices of the past as well. Having the support of my husband and kids helped me out tremendously.

Since I was self-publishing, I had to save up my own money to meet my publishing goals. One night after my kids had received their allowance from their dad, one by one they  gave me their allowance and told me that they wish they could help me more. I was dumbfounded and as I’m recalling this right now, I’m getting a little choked up all over again. And so they continued, every time they got money from their dad, they immediately put it in my hand for my book.

I wrote my book for several reasons but the most important ones were: For my own personal healing and closure to my trauma filled past. Secondly, I wrote it in the hopes that others would be helped.  Lastly, I wrote AS CLEAR AS CLAIRE GETS,   A CONVERSATION WITH THE PAST, as part of the legacy I want to leave my kids and my future ancestors.

I compare the writing and birthing of my book to a type of birthing of  a new baby. The pain was there for sure as I revisited some of the most painful memories of my childhood; once I wrote about it though I would feel free.  As I continued to bury those things that tormented me in the pages of my book, I was giving birth to a new, more empowered version of myself. The day the UPS truck delivered my first author copy, I liken that to the same profound joy I felt every time after I had labored for a while only to end up holding a beautiful baby in my arms.

I urge you, whoever you are reading this, whatever you dream of doing, don’t put it off anymore. Fight past the nay sayers and the self doubt and take it step by step. Making your dream a reality is the one and only path  to your destiny. Go and fear no more because the only thing we really fear, is fear itself.  The definition of fear is this: False Evidence Appearing Real. Go make it happen!!

William Shakespeare from Julius Caesar
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