A SCREAM WITHIN A DREAM

Loyal friend from Red Rock

Dumped her longtime partner in crime and billionaire

In Red Rock Canyon

She joked-waving away the praise,

” We’re just doing what we do here.”

Problem solver,loyal friend

Went her own way

Then returned to get involved

In gang crime spree

Marshalls rushed in

To a dilapidated building in the middle of Death Valley

Sweltering in July

Hide out for The Vagos

Playground for The Bandidos

Home of the Wicked Riderz on their green,mean machines.

All this she saw in her dream…

She awakened to a howling wind

Saw a beautiful dark-haired girl in Mexico City

In the room with a balcony view

Gauze curtains flapping madly in the wind-to and fro

Her face twisted in pain-a macabre painting done with her own blood

The sky above a blood orange

And no one heard her bone chilling screams

As her lover stabbed her repeatedly

Her blood spattered the walls

While the wind cursed like the ghost of Pancho Villa

All this she saw in her dream…

The Vagos

The Bandidos

And The Wicked Riderz

Fantasamas maldiciendo miles de maldiciones – Phantoms cursing a thousand curses in the wind

Like the ghost of Pancho Villa

The dreamer awakened-confused, heart pounding, bemused-

Was it real or just a dream?

EVA SANTIAGO copy right 2013

Busy Mind #21

Previous Condition

I woke up shaking

Alone in my room

The gray sheet-a twisted rope

Breathing as if from running

Motionless-for the longest while

Laying on my back-spread-eagle

Staring up at the spackled ceiling

With ear in tune to other sounds from the house:

A teapot whistling

A smoker’s sputum filled, hacking cough

A long drawn out yawn

My dog barking at the approaching mail man

Ma’s bacon sizzling on the cast iron griddle

In the shower, a girly voice singing Taylor Swift‘s “Mean”

The soft hum of the 5 blade fan over my bed

I had been dreaming

I woke up trembling-not sure why

The dream’s detail’s eluded me

I was certain I was running

This was recurrent

A previous condition

For a prolonged time; no dreams would come

Then with out notice, they’d return

A whole flood of them- a torrent even

I’d put off going to bed ’til I’d succumb to my restlessness

R.E.M. would kick in-to suck me into the vortex

I’d fall asleep frightened-to awaken terrified

I’d calm myself by listening to Ludwig’s “Moonlight Sonata”

Watching the smoke from a neglected pipe rise to my spackle ceiling.

I’d run away all of my life

At 16 I ran from my ma

Left her a note in chicken scratch

Told her not to worry

When I was 22, she died

Then the runaway returned

To her still, cold body waiting for me in a pine box

The old place-resembled a macabre masterpiece by Goya

The house stood naked, paint pealing-like a harlot in need of a manicure

An old rain coat stuffed in the front bay window

Bright yellow police taped blared at me:

“STAY THE HELL OUT VAGRANTS AND RUNAWAYS!”

That’s what my eyes read

My eyes red-from stinging tears

Once again,returned all of my fears

I stared at my reflection

In the old cracked oval gold leaf mirror

Left outside on the porch

Why did I run?

Where did I go?

Did nothing change?

I was still the same man…

That guy with a previous condition.

Altered Book: Exploring Literature/Lynn Altenbernd

WORD PICTURE #10

So how is it that you left it all behind? That’s easy, because you CHOSE to. You decided to take a deep breath and just let it ALL go. When did you decide not to keep on hanging to all that futility? When it absolutely became of no use to you. When you realized it was just a fantasy. When you faced your fear of being alone and decided you matter. YOU MATTER DAMN IT!!!

A dream died but another one flourishes in its stead. Is there ever a replacement of dreams? Or is it a dream exchange; where you trade up for a better one?

She longed for him as a starved soul in a prison longs for the sun light and good nourishment. She ached deep in her bones for him and he remained aloof and detached. Did he ever care? She will never know. Diego never gave Lidia a chance because his heart was torn in so many places by so many people. It now resembled more of an atlas map that had been tossed into a paper shredder. He had no idea how to respond to the flames of an old love. Talking to her excited him to no end. But then he had to go home and face his tormentor and main humiliation. He had made his mistakes with Jo Anne and she had decided to make him relive them every single day. So he was a man tossed and kicked about by the winds of circumstance.

He really had no clue about what he wanted. He wanted Lidia. He longed for her and that’s why he pushed her away completely. He couldn’t bring himself to hurt the one woman he never pursued. To go after her was too late. Lidia was settled or so it seemed. She pleaded with him . She bent over backward for him and Diego still never believed that some one that good was meant for him.

What happened? How can two lovers lose their way so completely to where there is no getting back to where they began? Did they ever have a chance? Where they ever meant to be? There is a mystery in the way a man is with a maiden. Why did it work for others but not for Lidia and Diego? Why did the stars and the constellations never line up for them as they have done so for so many other couples in centuries gone by? Why are there so many lovers whose stars crossed but never align? And why keep asking why? The questions outnumber the answers as the grains of sand on a beach, far outnumber the people who sun bathe on them . How many people are out there spending their days with the wrong person? How many people never give love another chance simply because it didn’t work out with the one they thought was their one and only?

So it’s time to get going! Let go and trade up on your dreams. Yes it’s hard especially when you have to think and believe differently. The old comforts and the new overwhelms. A vintage sweater is best worn with a pair of worn shoes; it keeps you warm and the shoes are familiar with where you’ve walked. But now that you toss them aside for a fresh sweater and new shoes, don’t forget the comfort you once drew from them. Embrace the unventured and wear it well. Be glad for what was and don’t weep for it anymore. Look in the mirror and smile because you are still standing. Enjoy this unchartered place and never long for earlier times; they have a way of beckoning you to stay where you were. Fight the urge to go back to the old and familiar with all your might.

I DARE You To Dream!

DARE TO LIVE YOUR DREAMS

Just the other day you came to mind. I thought of where I was when I was your age. For 12 years I heard all THEY had to say. At 19, I was on my own and I set out; my dreams I had to find.

You have a specific purpose; a definite place to be. Some call it this, others call it that. I have learned its one name: DESTINY. The one thing that you dream of doing; it’s always on your mind. beginning with your waking hour, even when you close your eyes at night.

This IS the path you must take. Follow it don’t be afraid to make a mistake. You will find opposition, others will distract you. You will also run into discouragement and face resistance.

But consider this: The Picassos, Monets and Da Vincis of this world, would not have been their greatest had they not followed their dreams; and settled for far less than they were called to be.