There is a sock conspiracy in my home I just know it! They conspire with PhatCatladie, our Scottish Fold 2 year old cat. Not only that the third offending party is the dryer. I have been watching this activity for a while now and I’m completely convinced that they are an organized crew.

PhatcatLadie  is a clever feline. She waits ’til late, late at night when we’re all asleep. She hides herself in the shadows awaiting her time. Once the house settles in for the night, she’s OFF!! She comes out of her hiding place and quietly goes to my girl’s bedroom. Why start her thieving for socks there? Because the girl’s room is an easy cache; they leave their sock drawer slightly ajar, easy enough for suspected cat to pounce on the prey and make out like a bandit! After robbing those drawers, she makes her way through the dark living room and into my son’s room.

She knows that there are occasions when my son will forget to close his sock drawer. PhatCatLadie has made it in the boy’s room; tonight she isn’t as lucky, his drawers are completely shut up and they aint talkin’. Someone threw away the key to the pad lock for the time being. The suspect turns around,looks over her shoulder and thinks  those sour grape thoughts:” It’s ok, I didn’t need ’em anyway.” She slowly meanders her way back to her starting place. For a minute there she wonders, hmmmm maybe I could try the Lady’s  bedroom; she always leaves her door slightly open….

Phatcatladie slowly, inch by inch, creeps through the shadows and finds herself standing in front of her Lady’s bedroom door. ‘Careful,’ she coaches herself, ‘this one is a light sleeper, don’t want to mess this up’. The suspect pokes her inquisitive head through the slightly opened door and squeezes her long body through the 4-5 inch space, ” I’m in!” She congratulates herself. Then with heart pounding a zillion beats per second, she looks at the sock drawer in dismay: This one is sealed tight! ” I did all this for nothing!” Phatcatladie scolds herself as she makes her way back out of the room ever so stealthily.

My other offending culprit is the dryer. Why is it that when I put all of the socks in the washing machine, they are together. When I throw them in the dryer, the pairs are still cozy, in two by two form. But it all changes when they come out of the dryer; something is always lost in translation and I smell a rat! Something’s missing in the state of the stocking world! What can possibly take place in there? A possible theory is that the dryer and Phatcatladie are in thick as thieves, you can’t tell me otherwise. I am going to continue until I solve this riddle. Somethings in life are a mystery and are never meant to be solved. This puzzle though has to have a solution. What do you think? Is there a sock conspiracy going on in your home? Perhaps you can share. I’d like to hear from other fellow conspiracy theorists  on this matter. 🙂