Tag: Literature

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 20

November 20, 2011November 20, 2011 · Leave a comment ·

Please refer back to my earlier posts and read what this challenge is about so that the later posts make sense

Day 20 Question #20: Besides something directly related to the family (i.e., the birth of a child), what has been the most exciting day of your life?

Answer: It’s Sunday so I looked for an easy question! The day I received the first copy of my first self-published book came to mind right away when I read this question. I began writing the book in 2007 and it was the most amazing journey I have ever under taken. Writing your own life story is very difficult; I had to fight the nagging inner voices that whispered things like: You aren’t famous, who’d want to read about your life when you haven’t gone to the moon or stood on the red carpet? Everyday I had to keep believing in myself and fight all the negative voices of the past as well. Having the support of my husband and kids helped me out tremendously.

Since I was self-publishing, I had to save up my own money to meet my publishing goals. One night after my kids had received their allowance from their dad, one by one they gave me their allowance and told me that they wish they could help me more. I was dumbfounded and as I’m recalling this right now, I’m getting a little choked up all over again. And so they continued, every time they got money from their dad, they immediately put it in my hand for my book.

I wrote my book for several reasons but the most important ones were: For my own personal healing and closure to my trauma filled past. Secondly, I wrote it in the hopes that others would be helped. Lastly, I wrote AS CLEAR AS CLAIRE GETS, A CONVERSATION WITH THE PAST, as part of the legacy I want to leave my kids and my future ancestors.

I compare the writing and birthing of my book to a type of birthing of a new baby. The pain was there for sure as I revisited some of the most painful memories of my childhood; once I wrote about it though I would feel free. As I continued to bury those things that tormented me in the pages of my book, I was giving birth to a new, more empowered version of myself. The day the UPS truck delivered my first author copy, I liken that to the same profound joy I felt every time after I had labored for a while only to end up holding a beautiful baby in my arms.

I urge you, whoever you are reading this, whatever you dream of doing, don’t put it off anymore. Fight past the nay sayers and the self doubt and take it step by step. Making your dream a reality is the one and only path to your destiny. Go and fear no more because the only thing we really fear, is fear itself. The definition of fear is this: False Evidence Appearing Real. Go make it happen!!

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 13

November 13, 2011November 13, 2011 · 3 Comments ·

Please refer back to my earlier posts and read what this challenge is about so that the later posts make sense.

Day 13 Question# 13: What was one negative in your life that you were somehow able to turn into something quite positive?

Answer: When I first read this question, I decided to write about the very first thing that popped into my mind. I grew up in my uncle‘s home and he is the typical male chauvinist with an extra added twist; he is a Latino macho man who thinks women are to be seen and not heard. Back then the message I was getting was that I was not to have my own voice, or opinions. You’re a girl, therefore no one wants to hear from you.

So I began to journal and really made friends with pen and paper pretty quick at a young age. Being that children long for the approval and recognition of their parental figures, I was no exception. One day I ventured out of my shell and I showed him a poem I had penned, which I was proud of because I felt in my heart it was a good piece. I took it to him and I asked him to read it. He did his usual looking down at me through the end of his bifocals which were perched on the end of his bulbous nose much like a surfer trying to balance his board on the crest of a wave.

I stood there frozen, holding my breath and trying to hush the beating of my heart which felt much like a freight train barreling down a dark tunnel at top speed inside my chest. I tried hard not to focus on my uncle’s’ blank face so I looked around in the place trying to count the people around me instead. Finally he finished. I wondered what took him so long to read just a few lines of my prose. The terrible silence continued and all I wanted to do was make a mad dash for the door and forget it all. Then my uncle pushed his military issue glasses back up his snooty nose and then he spoke,

” Well, you know this isn’t any good. Every good piece of poetry MUST rhyme and since your doesn’t, this isn’t good at all.” He gave me my journal back and turned back to his newspaper. I was dismissed just like a scullery maid.

“That’s it?’ I thought. I was in the 8th grade at the time and I had been reading plenty of poetry, I was falling madly in love with Shakespeare’s love sonnets. I knew for a fact my uncle was being narrow minded because not all of the poetry I was reading from the greats I was studying had to rhyme. Being that I was quite shy and also understanding that my uncle would never hear my views, I kept my thoughts to myself.

I didn’t let his insensitivity stop me. No sir! Not when I had been encouraged by Mrs. Gillard in the 6th grade who told me I had a gift and that one day she hoped to see my first book of poetry. Her words have been the steam behind my engine all of these years. Yes, my uncle hurt me terribly but I chose to ignore his biting words and I embraced my teacher’s honey coated positive words.

And I’m so glad I did because ever since then, I have published my first bookand I’m working on publishing my 2nd book; which happens to be a volume of short stories and poetry. When my second book comes out I plan to mail it to my uncle with a thank you note. Because of his mistreatment, I learned to turn the negative around and prove to myself that I can do my dreams; no matter what dirt people throw in my face to blind me along the way.

I am writing this in the hopes that if you’ve been discouraged and kept from following your dreams, DO NOT LISTEN to those haters who tell you you can’t. Turn it around and prove them wrong because that’s the power that you have to hush those voices of opposition.

TFCL (talk from the clothes line)

August 9, 2011August 9, 2011 · 3 Comments ·

Mattina Buon Dio, ( Good morning God/ Italian)

The sun is shining so brightly that as the singer says, ” I gotta wear shades.” I need you to be my Counselor right now. Of all the roles you play in my life, Counselor is one of my favorites because You never lead me wrong. Your advice is always spot on!

My family is grieved by a relative who is neglectful; he reasons that since he was neglected as a child, then the rest of us around him should pay and pay and pay.

Neglect- Fail to care for or attend to properly. Habitual lack of care.

ne- Latin for NOT

glect- to choose, pick up

When we study the word neglect and break it down, we see that neglect is a CHOICE. I have had many close friends advise me that perhaps this relative of mine just doesn’t have the tools to care for properly for others. I disagree because this person certainly possesses the ability to care for his own person and might I add, he excels at taking care if his own needs.

Just for an example the other day we all wanted to go shopping; I normally hate this activity but that day I was in the mood. My relative refused to go and so we never went. The next day when we were all exhausted from having been very busy the day before, my relative decided that NOW was the time to go shopping and so off we went. Later on when we confronted him about the spite (definition of spite- malicious ill will prompting an urge to humiliate) everyone felt while we were in the store, he just smirked as he gave himself a congratulatory pat on the back. I was done.

If you are reading this and you live with someone who fits the description above,you should know a couple of things: Proverbs 3:27 Don’t withhold good from someone entitled to it, when you have in hand the power to do it.

When someone holds back from doing good to you, that is evil; the opposite is true as well.

Proverbs 12:10 …but the mercies of the wicked are cruel. When a significant someone in your life willfully and habitually neglects you, that is cruel. There is no excuse for that. Remember the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. Do good to others when it’s called for and the same shall be done unto you.

Thanks for hearing me God, I’m so glad you never neglect me!

Parleremo di nuovo presto!

Book Covers

August 2, 2011 · 1 Comment ·

You can never tell what a person is going through or what they’ve been through in their past just by casual observation. This Sunday I heard a lady talking about how her 16 year old daughter Autumn was almost killed when a horse stepped on her when she was a toddler. Before I heard her story I had not paid much attention to this woman. Now that I know the painful trial she and her family endured, I want to know more about this person. I made my way to her and we exchanged pleasantries. Then I told her how I almost lost one of my kids when she was 7 weeks old. She looked at me with the same amazement I had when I first heard her story. This broke the ice and now I’m compelled to know this woman more.

Last month I heard another shocking story. I was sitting close to a man who looks just like the actor Morgan Freeman; I had to take a closer look to see if it really was. By the way, I am a huge fan of said actor. I kept running into this same man and I would imagine that he must have a grand life because the peace that surrounds him, gave me the impression that perhaps he wakes up everyday and sings,” Zippididoodah Zippideeay, my oh my oh what a wonderful day!” Then I heard the most amazing story about this man.

He was handed a mic and he began to share his personal tragedy. He said his name was Willie; he had lost 3 children in a house fire and soon after he lost 2 more children in a second house fire. My lower jaw fell wide open and I felt it touch the floor below. I leaned forward as my heart began to weep for this man’s great loss. He also shared his faith and said that it was God that had brough him through the whole crisis. Before I left that day I made sure I went to him and I gave Willie a big hug; then something amazing happened, we found comfort in our hug because unbeknownst to Willie , I shared in his pain since I too have experienced the heart ache that comes from losing your whole family.

We are all books. We all wear different covers; some are dazzling and colorful. When I chose my own book cover for my book AS CLEAR AS CLAIRE GETS, I wanted it to be eye catching and inviting. My story is not an easy read and knowing that, I had to design a colorful, fun, cover that would draw people in; once they’re in they’re hooked. Other book covers are mild and peaceful betraying the tragedy that lies between the pages of the book.

Whatever you’ve been through, the cover doesn’t matter one bit. We all start out with a blank book and it’s up to us to fill in the pages. My book starts out with one tragedy after the next, but I’m going to make sure at the end of my life, on the last page, you’re going to read that I became an over comer and a conqueror through my faith in God. Some people’s books start and end in tragedy; don’t let that be you. Choose instead to use your pain to help others. Then there are other books that start out in victory only to end terribly; what could have possibly happened?

Next time you meet someone new, pretend you’re in a library or a book store even, and be prepared to handle them with as much care and attention that you would give that book you’re considering as your your next great read. It is true: One cannot read a book by its cover; neither can one pass judgment on anyone just by merely glancing at their book cover.

I looked into your eyes,
I felt your pain.
I looked into my heart,
my pain is yours- we’re both the same.

Matthew 7:1-2

“Don’t judge so that you won’t be judged. For the way you judge others is how you will be judged-the measure with which you measure out will be used to measure to you.”

Life is Messy: Live and Love to the Fullest

July 26, 2011February 13, 2014 · 1 Comment ·

Dear Reader, I wrote this post back in 2009 when I had another blog. I wanted to share it since tomorrow is Valentine’s Day…Remember how special you truly are!!

Life is messy. Nature reflects the messiness of life. We spend our whole time here making sense of the chaos; ordering our lives so as to try to put a handle on the mess. Life never works out as neat and tidy Algebraic equation In math, it all works out without fail. Follow a prescribed method and WAPA! Problem solved , move on!

Well, life hardly mirrors mathematics. It does have prescribed patterns and formulas. For instance, there are physical laws such as gravity as well as spiritual laws of reaping and sowing. These and a multitude of others are set in place so we may have order in the midst of chaos.

We are taught as children to follow and obey all that is set before us then, PRESTO! We will be successful and have a great life. The more we live though, we all come to the same conclusion; life is messy. The Golden Rule says to treat others as you would like to be treated. The problem is it works sometimes and at other times people can be down right cruel. Then there is the pursue love at all costs and yet again, when we do, we are left feeling stranded at times…life is messy. So, you love someone and you keep loving that person no matter what and they never love you back; another unsolved equation.

Love is never a science; knowledge of facts or principles gained by systematic study. The laws of science dictate cause and effect. For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction, that’s how science works. Love is messy because there are no guarantees; if I love, that does not guarantee that my actively loving someone will cause that person to love me back equally and with the same measure of love. The human heart is an ocean with its shallow areas where we can swim and feel all is well within; don’t worry there are no “be ware of sharks” signs posted. Swim safely. Then there are those areas where the light has never reached; similar to those parts of the ocean where no man ,no camera has ever seen. There IS life in those depths awaiting our discovery. We fear the unfamiliar, so we stay in the shallow parts for our safety. Deep calls to deep and when we hear that call to venture out more, where it’s messy and chaotic, where things simply don’t add up, then we back paddle back to our safe zone. It takes trust to venture out to the unknown recesses in our hearts; to let love into areas that remain in the dark. Love is light; a closed up heart is a heart in darkness. Fear keeps us locked up thereby giving us a false security. The wise man said that out of the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks; we unlock or lock people up with our words; life giving words unlock others and poisonous words that curse keep others locked up as in a cell…solitary confinement. Love requires relationships. Some say, ” I love you but I have a hard time showing you. ” Well, love is easy to spot…it’s messy and all over the place. Picture a little child who was trying to make you breakfast and went on to make a great mess in attempting so. A little dab won’t do you; you have to reach out and take all you can. The more you take then you have more than enough to give to others. So if you take only a little, you’ll only have enough for you and that’s why you say, ” I love you but I can’t show you because I haven’t enough for the two of us.

Love should be celebrated everyday because everyday is a brand new opportunity for love to come into those dark areas in our hearts. People tolerate love because its nature is unpredictable, nerve wracking and annoying, especially when it show up unexpectedly. If we relegate it to a few holidays such as Christmas Valentine’s day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and all the minor holidays that fall in between, then love is confined and it loses intensity. Love’ REAL LOVE baffles the mind and astounds the senses and it should. God is Love; Love is God. God so loves us, with a messy kind of all over the place love;the kind that was powerful enough to gift us His only Son. He puts His heart on the line for us and the best we can do is love one another and in doing so we are loving Him.