Good-Byes Suck!

Good-byes are awful

No need to say ’em

Say good-bye when love is done

say good-bye when someone’s dying

Otherwise, leave things be

Good-bye is way too final

See ya!





All sound so much hopeful

All sound like

Catch ya later

Up ahead, down the lone winding road.

Good-bye means just that

No chance of ever meeting up

Good-bye means we closed the door.

-Eva Santiago copyright 2013






El no sabe que sentir. Does he feel relief? Yes and sadness that it has to be this way. Some anger comes and goes when Carlos remembers how much he cared; and for what? He cared because he is that way. He cares because someone has to. He cares because he has a living, breathing heart. But now Carlos knows not to care when someone has given up. Don’t care more than the other person. Is this right? He is not really sure. The thing is he is fresh out of answers. That’s right you heard it from the bird: No more answers to be found here.

All Carlos has now is a faith that guides him  uphill, on a path strewn with uncertainty. Every day he wakes up to the sun and it greets him with the same warmth he felt yesterday. Carlos goes to bed at night under the same twinkling stars and bright lit moon; knowing everything is going to be fine no matter what he chooses. He has wings now. Carlos can fly because he is not afraid to . All that holds him back now is himself and he is not going to let that happen. As long as Carlos is alive he will keep soaring higher and higher because the chicken coop is no place for an eagle like he.

He did his best. Carlos knows deep inside, where it really counts, that he gave his all and that, he will never, ever regret. When Carlos chose his life he decided to make it worth his while. He never was one to complain because after all, everything that has come into his life was based on the decisions he made . Who can he blame for the bad decisions? NO ONE! No one is at fault here, not even Carlos because he learned to cut himself some slack and go easy on the boy who as it turns out, is not Super Man or Iron Man; He is HUMAN and that is all. Carlos
never said he knew everything. He just said he’d find out if he didn’t know.
Is Carlos’s world crashing down? Yes it is. He used to be afraid of that happening and that’s why he fought alone for so long. He tried to keep a team of wild horses from careening down that precipice and now that he let go of the reins , he finds it is amazingly easier to let go than he previously imagined. Now that they are crashing, Carlos finds relief and a bit of annoyance for not having done it sooner.

EVA SANTIAGO copyright 2012


Have we become so callous as a human race that we can’t say anything nice when some one passes away? People would rather speak badly of the ones who go before us than remembering them for anything good they may have done in their lives. We are all human. We all make mistakes. Not one of us is perfect. So before any one of us casts a stone at someone who has fallen, look inside yourself and see if you’ve arrived…chances are you’re like the rest of us are: WORKS IN PROGRESS.

-Eva Santiago copyright 2012



30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 22

Please refer back to my earlier posts and read what this challenge is about so that the later posts make sense :)

Day 22 Question #22: If you could choose only one famous quote that you would want your children to always remember, which one would it be?

Answer: This answer comes from Shakespeare’s play Hamlet: “Above all: To thine own self be true.” That is such an important and profound quote. We live in an age where our children are bombarded by the media to be everything else but who they really are. Children are sent to public school to learn to conform and fit the mold in order to further an elitist agenda that disregards the unique, amazing individuals that God created.

Just think for a moment, if God wanted us all to be cookie cutter forms of one another why did He create such a diverse human race? Clearly God celebrates individuality while we live in a society that tries to get everyone to fit in the box of conformity. Our young men and women watch TV shows Like CELEBRITY LOOK ALIKE where they pick someone to get a head to toe  makeover so they can look  like one of the famous Hollywood celebrities. Personally, I have always liked how I look and I’m not at all interested in looking like anyone else.  Let’s turn that idea around and have a celebrity do a make over show where they look like the “Average Joe” or “Ms. Plain Jane” I guess that much reality would cause their precious  TV ratings to plummet.

To thine own self be true: Thank you Mr. Shakespeare for having penned your words for a generation of people who are willing to sell out just so they can fit in with the crowd. It takes great courage to be yourself in a culture where uniqueness tends to be scorned. That’s one quote my kids have heard for quite some time and I hope they embrace it through out their lives.

Book Covers

You can never tell what a person is going through or what they’ve been through in their past just by casual observation. This Sunday I heard a lady talking about how her 16 year old daughter Autumn  was almost killed when a horse stepped on her when she was a toddler. Before I heard her story I had not paid much attention to this woman. Now that I know the painful trial she and her family endured, I want to know more about this person. I made my way to her and we exchanged pleasantries. Then I told her how I almost lost one of my kids when she was 7 weeks old. She looked at me with the same amazement I had when I first heard her story. This broke the ice and now I’m compelled to know this woman more.

Last month I heard another shocking story. I was sitting close to a man who looks just like the actor Morgan Freeman; I had to take a closer look to see if it really was. By the way, I am a huge fan of said actor. I kept running into this same man and I would imagine that he must have a grand life because the peace that surrounds him, gave me the impression that perhaps he wakes up everyday and sings,” Zippididoodah  Zippideeay, my oh my oh what a wonderful day!” Then I heard the most amazing story about this man.

He was handed a mic and he began to share his personal tragedy. He said his name was Willie; he had lost 3 children in a house fire and soon after he lost 2 more children in a second house fire. My lower jaw fell wide open and I felt it touch the floor below. I leaned forward as my heart began to weep for this man’s great loss. He also shared his faith and said that it was God that had brough him through the whole crisis. Before I left that day I made sure I went to him and I gave Willie a big hug; then something amazing happened, we found comfort in our hug because unbeknownst to Willie , I shared in his pain since I too have experienced the heart ache that comes from losing your whole family.

We are all books. We all wear different covers; some are dazzling and colorful. When I chose my own book cover for my book AS CLEAR AS CLAIRE GETS, I wanted it to be eye catching and inviting. My story is not an easy read and knowing that, I had to design  a colorful, fun, cover that would draw people in; once they’re in they’re  hooked. Other  book covers  are mild and peaceful betraying the tragedy that lies between the pages of the book.

Whatever you’ve been through, the cover doesn’t matter one bit. We all start out with a blank book and it’s up to us to fill in the pages. My book starts out with one tragedy after the next, but I’m going to make sure at the end of my life, on the last page, you’re going to read that I became an over comer and a conqueror through my faith in God. Some people’s books start and end in tragedy; don’t let that be you.  Choose instead to use your pain to help others. Then there are other books that start out in victory only to end terribly; what could have possibly happened?

Next time you meet someone new, pretend you’re in a library or a book store even, and be prepared to handle them with as much care and attention that you would give that book you’re considering as your your next great read. It is true: One cannot read a book by its cover; neither can one pass judgment on anyone just by merely glancing at their book cover.

I looked into your eyes,
I felt your pain.
I looked into my heart,
my pain is yours- we’re both the same.

Matthew 7:1-2

“Don’t judge so that you won’t be judged. For the way you judge others is how you will be judged-the measure with which you measure out will be used to measure to you.”

Childhood Abuse Can Affect You Into Adulthood…If You Let it

I came out of abuse and I can tell you that God used those horrific experiences to teach me some valuable lessons. Yes, I say God because He is the only One that can set the captive free,if you allow Him to do a deep work in your life. The first lesson that I learned from my past abusers is that I didn’t want to do to another human being the vile,profane deeds that were done to me.

At age five I fell prey to the hands of a child molester who lived in the same house I was living in. I could have remained the victim of his mishandling me for all of my life. It wasn’t until I received God’s forgiveness for my own sins, that I began to pray asking God to help me forgive this depraved man. Honestly,every fiber of my being was crying out for revenge. Even though I was here and he was still in Colombia and I was in my early twenty’s, my soul could find no rest. A friend of mine helped me out one day when she told me that if I didn’t forgive him,then God wouldn’t forgive me my sins.
I was furious with God. “Lord!” I would cry out,”Didn’t you see what he did to me? How he robbed me of my innocence? Don’t you care that he violated me and stole what wasn’t his to begin with?” Then one day, God gave me this amazing answer to my years of pain and torment: ” I was there taking all the abuse for you. You were never alone. What he and all the others did to you,they also did to Me.” I was stunned and without words. I let those healing words penetrate my ice cold heart. The more I let the truth of God in my life,it began to melt the hard sheet of ice that had covered my inmost being.
If I had hung on to my anger and hurt there is no doubt in my mind that I would have become like my abusers. Refusing to forgive is a trap. Not forgiving those who offend us,puts us in the same prison cell that they are in. Not only that,you are shackled to that person in your spirit. Once you choose to forgive,off come the shackles and you become free of them. I was worried for a long time that if I forgave them,that I was supposed to be involved with that person again. That’s when I learned that you forgive primarily for you. I have forgiven my abusers and I can now pray for them.
I married a man who was also abused as a child and I see how his unforgiveness of his abusers tends to rear its ugly head . At times it wants to wreak havoc in our married life. Recently I told my spouse that his abusers were still a power in his life because he was letting them still control him every time he dwelled on the pain. He had never had anyone tell him that. I love this man too much to see him remain a prisoner trapped in a cage he was put in so long ago. God put us together so we could help each other out. The only way you can help someone out of abuse,is if you’ve walked in the same shoes. Also,the other person has to be willing to not live like a victim but instead allow God to love you past the trauma.With God all things are possible. If you are reading this article, I pray for you that God will give you the strength to face your abuse. Forgive your abuser(s),forgive God and forgive yourself. Whom the Son sets free is free indeed and He desires that you be free,healed and restored!