Tag: United States

365 Snap Shots of Life: Day 158

 

 

 

I found this great article today dealing with how to raise happy kids..it can be done folks! I have 4 that can attest to it 🙂 I wish you a happy Wednesday!!

Did you ever notice how so many children today seem unhappy?
No matter how much they have, no matter how hard you try to give them more, they never seem content. They should be the happiest kids who ever lived. They have traveled to islands, gone jeeping through the deserts of Israel, swam with dolphins, but there is a sense of discontent.

There are children who have iPhones, iPads, wiis, Gameboys, American girl dolls, and basements filled with toys. Summer time brings talk of sleep away camp, shopping with long lists in hand or planning trips to faraway places. Even with the difficult economic situation, the reality is that we would rather do without ourselves than have our children feel as if they are lacking.

Last week a father called me. He said that each summer he rents a home for his family in beautiful surroundings. It is a neighborhood where some people buy lavish homes, others rent. Even though he has always enjoyed their summer place, his 13-year-old daughter made it clear that she was unhappy.

At 2 a.m. she decided to have a meltdown.

“I am ashamed of the house we stay in every summer,” she cried. “All my friends have much better houses, why can’t we? If we take this same house as always I don’t want any of my friends coming over. Don’t even think about inviting them!”

She stomped to her room and slammed the door, leaving her father hurt and perplexed.

“I try so hard,” he said to me. “What is she thinking? Doesn’t she see how much I sweat to make a buck?”

How do we combat the unhappiness?

Of course there are many reasons our children act miserably. You can say it is awful chutzpah, too much stuff, absence of parental involvement, or deficient discipline. Others will say there is not enough one on one time, children who do not feel really accepted, a lack of self-esteem or just plain arrogance.

We mistakenly believe that the more we give, the happier they’ll be. Wrong.

But at the root of the misery lies a basic glaring lack of gratitude. When children are not cognizant of their blessings, they do not begin to recognize how much they have. They overlook the good, both the big and the small, and they grow more entitled with each day.

We mistakenly believe that the more we give, the happier they will be.

Wrong. Instead, it is the more they appreciate, the happier they will grow.

I explained to this father that it is time he sat down with his daughter and introduce her to the concept of ‘Dayenu’. On Passover we recount all of God’s many kindnesses. After each kindness we pause and say: “Dayenu – it would have been enough for us!” We are encouraged to recognize each gracious act of giving and realize that every deed deserves thoughtful appreciation. We don’t take anything for granted. We stop and contemplate the blessing of enough.

Related Article: The Good Parent

I received an incredibly long list that had been drawn up for this 13 year old. Here’s part of the list:

  • We have a beautiful home.
  • We rent a lovely summer house in a gorgeous neighborhood.
  • We have traveled to Israel.
  • We have traveled to Paris.
  • We have traveled to Italy.
  • We have gone skiing in Utah.
  • We eat in delicious restaurants.
  • We have gone to Miami every Chanukah vacation since you were a baby.
  • We have celebrated your bat mitzvah with an amazing party.
  • We have sent you to sleep away camp since fourth grade.
  • We have a loving family.
  • We have grandparents who cherish us.
  • We have good health.

After each line, the father wrote Dayenu. And then he explained to this child who had been blessed with more than she had ever understood (and more than most could ever imagine) that it was time to appreciate the blessings of that which we have, instead of focusing on that which we think that we are missing in life.

There is one more missing link here – the presence of parents who live with the motto of Dayenu in their own lives. When children hear their mother or father constantly commenting on other people’s homes, enviously recounting the way others vacation, or having conversations about the expensive clothing and furniture that their friends seem to have, we are implanting the ugly roots of discontent and unhappiness in our children’s hearts.

How can we teach the blessing of enough when are days are spent wanting more and more?

Unfortunately, these parents spent many hours bickering. But it is not only financially that we come up short in our minds. Somehow, in every conflict, this husband and wife each felt unappreciated. Both expressed frustration that their spouse was not doing their share.

If I am always concentrating on what my spouse does not do instead of recognizing the good that he does, I end up destroying any potential for joy that I may have. My life becomes filled with negatives and I grow bitter and unhappy.

Let us take the lesson of Dayenu to heart. It is time for us all to contemplate the blessing of enough.

http://www.aish.com/f/p/The_Blessing_of_Enough.html

365 Snap Shots of Life:Day 149

This post I am doing in honor of all of my family members and friends who have served or are currently serving in our Armed Forces. I want to thank: Mireya Ervin, Larry Ervin, Kristina Ervin, Diego Sanchez,  Kelli Bonds,Francisco Sanchez, Carlos Bello, Joe Brincat, David Brincat, Daniel Vargas, Mike Asher, Tamicko Deen, Tim Mears, Tammy Defoe, David Gonzalez , David Salazar, Mark Brage and Frank Sanchez for giving of your life, talents and time to fight for our freedom. Here are some funny pics to brighten your holiday! Enjoy 🙂

 

365 Snap Shots of Life:Day 148

Do you believe in this old saying: You reap what you sow? Do you still believe in the kindness of strangers? In this world we live in with all the negativity the media broadcasts it’s easy to forget those simple truths.

Yesterday I was at the library. When we came out our car was dead. So we tried to figure out what the problem was,looked under the hood trying to trouble shoot. Then a man in his 60’s walked by us with his grandchild, a cute little kid who wore glasses just like grandpa’s . He offered to help us jump-start the battery and then we ran into the second problem; the jump-start cables were too short. Thankfully I had paid attention to the person who had parked on the other side of us just a few minutes before. I ran back into the library and found her checking out. I asked her if she could help us and she hurried to finish checking out and a few minutes later she allowed us to use her car to jump-start our battery.

There are a lot of good people out there who will help. If you do your part to help someone out, it DOES come back to you when you need it. In the movie BRUCE ALMIGHTY,God tells  Bruce,” Be the miracle people need.” Sometimes those miracles can be something as practical as jump starting someone’s car 🙂 

HAPPY SUNDAY!!! Be someone’s miracle today 🙂

365 Snap Shots of Life: Day 147

The home school prom was last night and it went better than I anticipated. I don’t know why I was so surprised that it centered around family and not just kids. I went to mine 25 years ago and having gone to public school for 12 years, you learn that adults are the enemy and to be avoided at all costs. Last night the scene was beautiful. I chaperoned my girls and they both had dates; 2 boys they are good friends with took them. I gave my girls space and before hand I told them this night was about them. That they deserved it and to forget that I’m even there. That took both of them by surprise. I know we live,work and play together and they needed that time and space away from me.

Once we arrived at the venue, I took a seat way in the back away from the dance floor. I love to dance and I figured I’d stay back there an dance by myself. Then my friend, another home schooling mom came by and I asked her if I could dance. Again, I was unsure of what my role as a chaperone was. She laughed, telling me to relax and just have a good time. Not too long after, the music was bumping and I worked up the courage to join the rest of the party goers on the dance floor; which consisted of kids and adults dancing up there and not caring what anyone thought.

I went to order a set of pictures and I overheard the man in charge of taking the orders say something quite amazing. He was telling my friend that he does many school proms and that he’d never seen a prom where it’s all about family;it was one big family party last night and he commented he’d never seen anything like it. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m proud to say that home school parents are instrumental in taking back America’s families from the brink of destruction. It was evident last night that when you home school, it makes for a close bond between parents and children. The best part of it was that I had a chance to see my daughters having so much fun. And they sang when we came home,” I had the time of my life,and I never felt this way before, yes I know it’s true and I owe it all to you.”

One more quick note. I  hear that in these times we live, in Prom is a very expensive deal;it’s all about spending money to impress. Well last night my girls were laughing over the ridiculously low amount of money we put into their special night. Then I remembered how hard I worked so I could go to mine. 25 years ago I spent a little over $150 on my Prom. By today standards that is very inexpensive. The girls were proud of looking amazing and not breaking their parent’s bank account. I even overheard my oldest tell a woman who was complimenting her on her beautiful dress that she found it at a second-hand store.Most of the young men didn’t wear tuxes but they came wearing what they felt comfortable in and maybe what their parents could afford. I smiled because from watching most of the young people in that room, I could tell they weren’t there to impress but to have a good time and make great memories as child hood winds down for some of them. Prom 2012 was definitely a success and I’m glad I was part of it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Honor Roll Doesn’t Mean Children Are Learning

I’m posting this column from one of my favorite conservative columnists on the internet. I enjoy reading Mychal Massie’s Daily Rant because he speaks the truth without making any apologies for what he says. Read on!

I have long held that American children are academically dumb and getting dumber, and I’ve held that the reasons for same are the intrusion of the federal government into our education system, illiterate teachers full of elaborate teaching methods that do not work, and parents.

Parents do not like to hear that their children aren’t getting a marketable education. It is easier to live in denial than face the reality that their children are being poorly educated, despite a stint or two on the honor roll. I hate to be the skunk at the picnic, but more times than not, it does not mean your child has learned anything substantive. Plus, I am unapologetic in my condemnation of parents who do not provide consistent learning environments for their children. Children are the future of our nation.

So-called educators have gone to great lengths to dumb down the children of America, and most parents don’t give a rat’s tail about it as long as they can say their child made the honor roll. But my position is that making the honor roll in most public schools means less than nothing. It, at best, means little if the parents aren’t providing a consistent learning environment outside of the classroom.

With the above-referenced always in my mind, this morning the first news that caught my attention was an article written by Kala Rama “Passing Score Lowered For FCAT Writing Exam” in Florida. (http://www.clickorlando.com/news/Passing-score-lowered-for-FCAT-Writing-exam/-/1637132/13396234/-/k1ckc2z/-/index.html) Rama reported: “The Board of Education decided in an emergency meeting Tuesday to lower the passing grade on the writing portion of Florida’s standardized test after preliminary results showed a drastic drop in student passing scores.”

FCAT is the acronym for Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test exam. Rather than being resolved to the expectation that children are in school to learn and those charged with ensuring that happens are teachers–Florida, like many other school systems, found it easier to lower the requisites for passing.

I would hope that it is glaringly obvious that lowering the score needed to pass an exam does not increase the students‘ learning capacity. Parents need to understand that. A poorly educated child who has been the beneficiary of lowered expectations and lowered grades necessary for passing may graduate from high school on the honor roll–but then what? What will the child do with their “I graduated on the honor roll, and I’m going to college, graduate and get a good job.”

The truth, however, is must less optimistic. They may graduate from college, but it won’t be with the requisite marketable employment skills to even give them a chance of landing a high-paying good job. They will, however, leave college in debt from student loans, and with an education that hasn’t prepared them for the future.

It is a variant form of socialism that believes lowering scores required for passing gives everyone a better opportunity to succeed. What it does, in reality, is ensure that there will be another generation of unemployed and underemployed.

In 2003, I wrote “No Foundations, No Future” in which I addressed this very problem. I wrote:

“In Florida, minority students are accepted into college, but are unable to pass the multiple choiceFCAT test that requires only a 40 percent score and can be taken five times to pass.”

In Pennsylvania, between one-third and one-half of prospective math and science teachers failed their certification tests. About one-third of applicants flunked special-education certification. Nearly 50 percent of prospective Spanish teachers failed their tests. More than one-third of the applicants failed both the pre-professional skills test in writing and social studies. On the “content knowledge” portion of the math test, 43 percent of the teachers failed. (Jane Elizabeth /John M.R. Bull, Post-Gazette – “Up to half of teacher candidates failing tests,” Jan. 17, 2002)

In Illinois, 5,243 teachers failed key exams. The New York Times asked the question: “What to do about [New York] teachers who chronically fail their certification exams? Some in New York have failed 10 times – 3,000 have never passed.”

Parents may not like what I am saying, but the truth is my defense. It doesn’t take money to ensure children are educated; it takes commitment from the parents and teachers. My family set the bar high when it came toeducation, and the expectations that my cousins and I would achieve and exceed them were as much an absolute as sunshine. My teachers didn’t care about our color–they cared that we learned. Our parents didn’t demand teachers of color, and diversity was the number of different books we read, not a color-coded faculty.

I’ve had conversations with editors who tell me how ill-equipped and unprepared many of the young people they interview are. I personally observe the lack of professional skills in young people today. Sadly, many parents today are more concerned about themselves than they are their children. And they are willing to turn to those who will validate (for a price) whatever excuse they feel will absolve them of guilt and/or responsibility.

Parents need to open their eyes and see what they are allowing to happen to their children. Many children today have no interest in learning, their interests lie in X-Box, the latest electronic gadget, worthless television programming, and the latest song. Unfortunately, that doesn’t ensure capable contributors to our free-market; it ensures that, at some point, we will see the further erosion of skilled employees.

I concluded the 2003 piece referenced above saying: “The foundations of America are being destroyed: A watered down, diluted god of convenience; moral decay within the family; poorly educated teachers andstudents; and a government that governs for the posterity of itself is – agree or not – the death knell of our nation.”

http://mychal-massie.com/premium/honor-roll-doesnt-mean-children-are-learning/comment-page-1/#comment-30078

365 Snap Shots of Life: Day 138

Yay! It’s Pinterest Thursday..yeah right, it’s I got nothing but these pics for you if truth be told 🙂 It’s 100 degrees out here in the grand Mojave Desert and folks, we’re just in pre-heat! Back into my cave I go ’til this goes away end of September or so! Aye, todo lo que  converso me sale en verso…that was the Spanish version of, I’m a poet and I know it 🙂 Enjoy these quotes!

365 Snap Shots of Life: Day 131

We are having a funky day  in the desert today. A sand storm is blowing our way from Arizona and it makes for ugly skies and super dry skin. I miss the sound of rain 🙂

It’s gritty, it’s dry and it sucks.
It gets in your eyes,
and in your hair it flies.
Don’t open your mouth,
here comes all that damn sand from the south.

Eva Santiago © 2012

365 Snap Shots of Life: Day 129

When I first came out to this desert 12 years ago, I didn’t know what to expect. It was spring when we arrived and the desert was in full bloom bursting with an artist’s palette of hues everywhere. Color speaks to me and the desert was welcoming me! I had never seen purple cactus and they delighted me. I mentioned to my friend,” Do you think someone painted those?” He laughed and shook his head.

I live in an unforgiving terrain that is the Mojave desert. Yet it’s here where I’ve encountered God in His simplicity. Even though the land is harsh and unforgiving, it reminds me that God is gentle and all forgiving. The dryness of this desert is merciless and yet God’s mercies rain down on me daily and they are new every morning and without fail.

The Spirit lead Jesus out into the desert to test Him. Could it be that God calls on certain individuals only, to live in the desert? It takes some one with a different mind-set and make up to dwell out here. Lots of people come to visit, not many stay for long though. I’m convinced it takes a special lowliness to live here. A meekness and humility- the kind like the sparrow has. God watches over the sparrows and he watches over me closely because He knows what it takes for me to make it out here.

Eva Santiago © 2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spread the Word About HR4170!

As you may already be aware, today is “1-T Day” – the estimated date on which student loan debt will officially hit a mind-boggling ONE TRILLION DOLLARS.  As a result, hundreds of organizations and individuals are participating in a National Day of Action to mark this extremely important, highly disturbing milestone.

To that end, ForgiveStudentLoanDebt.com has, once again, collaborated with Kyle McCarthy, Founder of OccupyStudentDebt.com, as well as LoanReformNow’s RaeAnn Roca, to create a new website:

HR4170.com.

As our petition in favor of The Student Loan Forgiveness Act of 2012 quickly approaches our goal of one million signatures, no doubt you’ll be called upon by friends, family and co-workers to defend your support of the bill.  HR4170.com is intended to be your one-stop destination for all things related to this groundbreaking bill.

Not only does the new site provide easy-to-navigate links for you to use to help spread the word and raise awareness about the bill, but it also contains a whole host of resources to help sharpen your arguments, explain why this bill is needed and how it will help to jumpstart our floundering economy.

Please join millions of others across the country participating in today’s National Day of Action by visiting HR4170.com and start spreading the word!

Thank you, as always, for your continued support.  Together, we’re going to fundamentally change the way in which we pay for higher education in America – but it’s going to take some work, so let’s get started!

Robert Applebaum
Founder, ForgiveStudentLoanDebt.com
Follow me on Twitter: @bobbyapples
Join the FSLD Facebook Group

365 Snap Shots of Life: Day 114

I just received news that a wonderful woman I knew passed away today. She was the midwife who assisted me in delivering my 4th child in a lovely home birth. I wrote this poem a while back about her and I’m posting it here today in remembrance. R.I.P. Sweet Kaye…

I post no actual photo today but in its stead, I’ll paint you my word picture of this precious soul.

KAYE

Blue eyes that tell a story,

of loves’ loss,

tinged with perhaps a bit,

of yesterday’s glory.

 

Eyes of azure,

tinted with sadness;

azure,cerulean, lapis-lazuli,

oh why have they not seen their jubilee?

 

Hiding behind a curtain…

…seen way too much?

perhaps losing hope?

is it too much with which to cope?

 

Life and death situations abound all around,

one day up, the next, she’s low to the ground,

and still Kaye hearkens her ear to the sound….

…. phonic, sonic, supersonic faith sings her resounding song.

 

Not a faith based on what is seen,

but on trust and belief,

that only comes once,

from the secret place.

 

Kaye will dwell ,occupy and reside,

in the secret place of The Most High,

she’ll abide and remain under His shadow,

proclaiming Him always her refuge, her tower, her strength!

-Eva Santiago copyright 2012