Tag: Family

WE ARE LOVE…

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Love is not:
Exchanged looks
Exchanged hugs
Exchanged kisses
Stolen Kisses
Hugs that last more than 2 minutes
Long love-making sessions
Quick ones and in between ones
Looking into each other’s eyes while we make love
Whispering your name in your ear as you make me yours
Dirty talk in between the sheets
Sending you random ILY texts
Making your favorite dish
You making me laugh
Cuddling while watching a movie on the couch
Holding each other into the night ’til daylight
None of these , as great as they are, are love because…
WE ARE LOVE
LOVE IS WHO WE ARE!

EVA SANTIAGO copyright 2014

WILD HEART

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I had a dream last night
I met up with my wild heart
“Hey! What’s up?” He said
“Who are you?” I asked nervously
” I’m the one to take you to your destiny!” He proudly proclaimed
Oh, I shook
Oh, I quivered
Oh, I shrank back in fear….

He was like no other yet I liked him, not understanding why. He pushed me to the precipice of my unlived life, daring me to take a leap of faith. My heart pounded as a kettle drum keeping time in an orchestra. He glanced at me and tossed his head back laughing heartily, not at me, but at the unspoken fear that hung on me like visible grave clothes. The more I hung out with my wild heart, I grew to like him by the second.
He was:
Magnetic
Enigmatic
Prophetic
He spoke truth piercing words that stung my lazy , stagnant flesh. He was gently prodding me awake and I wasn’t minding it one bit. Wild heart showed me my past and for the first time in my whole existence, I felt no shame. He explained that it’s because I’ve overcome all the pain with his help.
“Wait,” I asked, confused, ” We’ve met before?”
Wild Heart was amused with my question and answered me with a twinkle in his eye,
“I was with you from day one. You just never took the time to acknowledge me before. You listened to all the shoulds and should nots so I had to stay quiet and let you make up your mind.”
By the way, His sea-green eyes were deep pools of love, knowledge and understanding; I had to make myself not stare into them too intently or I’d drown in them.
” My deep apologies for not having listened to you until now,” I offered lamely. Wild Heart just gave me a hug as all my worries melted in his warm embrace; very much like the sun melts a piece of snow covered ground.

Next, Wild Heart took me to a high wall. It was the highest I’ve ever been and he picked me up with his steady hands, about to dunk me into a pool of sparkling waters with depths unknown to me. I was used to living in the lows of life so this didn’t startle me. Wild Heart sensed this some how, so just as quickly, he picked me up and twirled me about, way above the ground, much like a daddy does with an unsuspecting ,trusting infant. I wasn’t even dizzy and I never closed my eyes once, like the old me would have done. I was wide awake as I began to see everything around me in a new perspective. Once he put me down I asked,
“Why did you do that just now?”
” You’ve not really lived ’til now.” He paused to let his words sink into the depths of my soul.
” But,but,what?!” I stammered in disbelief, thinking I had accomplished so much for my 40 something years.
” No offense, but you’re young still,” he said with a wink.
” You’ve so much more to see, to hear, to feel, to touch, to smell. So many more people left for you to love. Your work has only just begun.”
I was overwhelmed now, Wild Heart could sense it and he added,
” Your time here is multiplied when you follow Me, your Wild Heart because you’re no longer living according to some one else’s rules. Live the kingdom life and you become immortal, eternal and unforgettable. Follow me and you’ll do so much more.” I found my voice and I asked him,
“When and where do I start?” He commended me,
“You’ve had a great start. Now, you just keep waking up the wild hearts who have fallen asleep and fallen by the wayside. That’s your task.” I was taken aback as I asked,
” So you’re pleased with the little I’ve done so far?” Putting his muscly arms around me he held me closely,
” Yes, indeed I AM that I AM!. And now go on, it’s time to brush off the gold dust of yesterday’s glories. Continue on your journey down this path that will bring you that crown which you’ll eventually cast down at my feet on that day of all days.”

Wild Heart left me with a riddle and my wild heart awakened beating as a kettle drum. Now the orchestra played a new symphony. I jumped out of my bed, fresh, alive and with new thoughts. I know where I’m going and I’ll never again not follow my wild heart. I bid you, I dare you, I implore you….won’t you do the same?!

Eva Santiago copyright 2014
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LIFE IS MESSY: LIVE AND LOVE ABUNDANTLY!

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Dear Reader, I wrote this post back in 2009 when I had another blog. I wanted to share it since tomorrow is Valentine’s Day…Remember how special you truly are!!VD

Life is messy. Nature reflects the messiness of life. We spend our whole time here making sense of the chaos; ordering our lives so as to try to put a handle on the mess. Life never works out as a neat and tidy Algebraic equation. In math, it all adds up. Follow a prescribed method and WAPA! Problem solved , move on!

Well, life hardly mirrors mathematics. It does have prescribed patterns and formulas. For instance, there are physical laws such as gravity as well as spiritual laws of reaping and sowing. These and a multitude of others are set in place so we may have order in the midst of chaos.

We are taught as children to follow and obey all that is set before us then, PRESTO! We will be successful and have a great life. The more we live though, we all come to the same conclusion; life is messy. The Golden Rule says to treat others as you would like to be treated. The problem is it works sometimes and at other times people can be down right cruel. Then there is the pursue love at all costs and yet again, when we do, we are left feeling stranded at times…life is messy. So, you love someone and you keep loving that person no matter what and they never love you back; another unsolved equation.

Love is never a science; knowledge of facts or principles gained by systematic study. The laws of science dictate cause and effect. For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction, that’s how science works. Love is messy because there are no guarantees; if I love, that does not guarantee that my actively loving someone will cause that person to love me back equally and with the same measure of love. The human heart is an ocean with its shallow areas where we can swim and feel all is well within; don’t worry there are no “be ware of sharks” signs posted. Swim safely. Then there are those areas where the light has never reached; similar to those parts of the ocean where no man ,no camera has ever seen. There IS life in those depths awaiting our discovery. We fear the unfamiliar, so we stay in the shallow parts for our safety. Deep calls to deep and when we hear that call to venture out more, where it’s messy and chaotic, where things simply don’t add up, then we back paddle back to our safe zone. It takes trust to venture out to the unknown recesses in our hearts; to let love into areas that remain in the dark. Love is light; a closed up heart is a heart in darkness. Fear keeps us locked up thereby giving us a false security. The wise man said that out of the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks; we unlock or lock people up with our words; life giving words unlock others and poisonous words that curse keep others locked up as in a cell…solitary confinement. Love requires relationships. Some say, ” I love you but I have a hard time showing you. ” Well, love is easy to spot…it’s messy and all over the place. Picture a little child who was trying to make you breakfast and went on to make a great mess in attempting so. A little dab won’t do you; you have to reach out and take all you can. The more you take then you have more than enough to give to others. So if you take only a little, you’ll only have enough for you and that’s why you say, ” I love you but I can’t show you because I haven’t enough for the two of us.

Love should be celebrated everyday because everyday is a brand new opportunity for love to come into those dark areas in our hearts. People tolerate love because its nature is unpredictable, nerve wracking and annoying, especially when it show up unexpectedly. If we relegate it to a few holidays such as Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and all the minor holidays that fall in between, then love is confined and it loses intensity. Love, REAL LOVE baffles the mind and astounds the senses and it should. God is Love; Love is God. God so loves us, with a messy kind of all over the place love;the kind that was powerful enough to gift us His only Son. He puts His heart on the line for us and the best we can do is love one another and in doing so we are loving Him.

Eva Santiago copyright 2009,2014

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galaxy4

TINSEL YEARS

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TINSEL YEARS
He gave her tinsel everything
She lived all of her glitter years
With him there, in Tinsel Town
Tinsel hair
Tinsel clothes
Tinsel smiles
Tinsel hugs
Tinsel kisses
And she always knew
His bad was her good
And she always knew
She could not love- him
And so she said good-bye to it all:
Tinsel hair
Tinsel clothes
Tinsel smiles
Tinsel Hugs
Tinsel kisses
She was done
She was ready for something far beyond his tinsel and glitter years
“Hasta Luego. Me largo de aqui!”
She missed the mid-night train
For once her tears were real
As she wept a pond full
And they amalgamated with the pounding rain
“Good-bye,” She whispered into the mid-night air.”

EVA SANTIAGO copyright 2014

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Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

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Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

So I stayed with you to appease the beast
I had no lab formula
To tame that Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde
That you for so long tried to hide
Apparently my love was not the antidote
It’s now oh so clear that there’s no cure
For that sad pathetic beast that you are
You did great
Fooling me for all of those years
With all of your masks
Every time one mask fell
You’d run to put it back in
And I’d sweat it out a little
I was afraid to see the real person
Because let’s face it
You’ve always lived the life of Dr. Jekyll and Mr.Hyde
I’d sleep next to a monster
Never really resting
Always with one eye opened
Certainly my heart mind or body
Never felt truly protected
Oh how my heart knew
Oh how my mind chose to ignore
Because I knew what lay in store
I too was in major denial
I told myself my love was enough
Until You took it all and still asked me for more
“ Well At least I didn’t destroy you,” said the beast
“ And who would want you?” Was one of your best lies
But now I know
Though you tried to shame me for so long
I am not ashamed
For you see as your beast bullied me
I grew stronger
As your beast raped me of my dignity
I found my self-confidence and security
As your beast starved me
I fed myself from the tree of life
As your beast circled about me waiting for my dead carcass
Help from the Ravens came and they fed me in the desert
That desert you abandoned and held me captive in
As you refused to water me
I learned from the desert plants
To store up water for the long drought
As you demolished my heart with your battering ram
It broke
Only to propagate itself
And now it’s one hundred times the size of the heart you first broke
So I thank that beast
Really?
Am I insane
Hardly!
The beast inside you
Made me the best I have ever been.
I bid thee well beast
I hope you get better
Just remember this:
You can’t touch a true heart
You can’t have what was not given you
What you took by force
You can not keep a free spirit in a cage
You can’t destroy what is full of life
I am that rose that grew in the concrete
Yeah that’s right, that stony heart of yours
Gave birth to this fragrant, amazing rose
I chose to live
You choose to die
So long beast!

EVA SANTIAGO copyright 2014

jekyll&hyde

 

IN MY TIME…

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Too many kids today

Have straight teeth

But crooked morals

People caring too much

Almost obsessing even,

Their little Jimmy-Joe lacks the perfect smile

Little girls getting manis and pedis

When they’d rather be making mud pies and playing in the sand box

Little girls competing in beauty pageants

HOLD ON!!

Wait a damn minute!

If I were from the past

And suddenly awoke from the grave

Come back to earth for a brief spell

What would I think?

The world has certainly gone mad

In my time, famous was the man whose children loved him

Now fathers and children are practically strangers

In my time,the family you built was the legacy you left to your children

Now, families aren’t built with that purpose or intent-they aren’t even built…

In my time, home was where life made up its mind

Now, people live in grand houses surrounded by every creature comfort their hard-earned money can buy

But they forget a house filled with hate,strife discord and anger is hardly a place fit to call home

Eva Santiago copyright 2013

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The Displaced

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To be homeless is nothing more than to be displaced. They are no different from those of us who have a place of our own. They wake up the same as you and me. They need love and affection like you and me. What is to be displaced?

Is it a choice a person makes?

Is is a curse?

Is it random?

Does it choose you?

Do you choose it?

I’ve been close to being homeless at one time in my life. I was kicked out of somewhere to land on some one else’s door-step;only to find out  I was not welcome there either. I  literally had no place to call my own during that brief time. I was displaced because  of my family‘s lack of concern for me. Who of you are bold enough to admit   you’ve been home less at one time or another? It could have lasted an hour,a day, a week , a month or even a year. No matter the length of time,,or for whatever set of circumstances, you know what feeling homeless is like.

The United States of America is The Great Land of Pretenders. When I was displaced, I held a full-time job, I wore nice clothes, I ate everyday. I just lacked my roof. I went to work and wore the same happy face; no one knew of my plight. I pretended all was well with me and kept going because well, that is what one does in the land pf pretenders.

To be homeless mean so much more than to lack a roof over your head at night. In my view, to be displaced is to be without family. Family tossed me out;I ended up living with a bunch of strangers . I was cut off from my rightful place and role in my family. So I struck out on my own;left all those people behind because that’s when I knew I had to forge my path and find my family.

Displaced people wander about looking for acceptance and connection. I sure did. You can be a wealthy person and still merit the title of  displaced soul only because you’ve no family, no ties . No true bonds to family whether it’s your blood or family made of close friends. You can own the whole world and all its treasure but if you have no true connection to another soul, you’re a displaced soul. I have met many in that plight who  were so full of the pride of life and the total sum of their possessions. Yet they had no one who checks up on them at least once a day to see if they’re ok.

In the land of pretenders they teach children everything about the value of material things and nothing about the value of life. Generation after generation children are not shown to pursue love and to attain peace at all costs.

EVA SANTIAGO copyright 2013

Enter-Exit

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An exit

Far exceeds an entrance

A child is born

A second of everyday

A person expires

A second of everyday

Birth is a great miracle

And so is death

Yet we celebrate life way more

Let’s see how this goes

Please, come with me and let’s explore

To be born is to be wide awake

For a few days,weeks, months and years

To die is to sleep

TO slumber and dream forevermore

And yet we fear what we don’t know

An exit far exceeds an entrance

Birth brings a fresh start

We’re all so hope-full

When we take in a baby’s beauty

We wonder what will be

We wonder what’ll be stored

In that fresh face-in that new heart

All our days are numbered

Even before we lived one

We seldom think of that at the start

Birth brings a fresh start

As does the death of the dearly departed

For you see, they get to start anew

In another place

In another time

Where the old is forgotten and everything’s new

Eva Santiago copyright 2013