Category: Talk From the Clothes Line

ALL ONE

Alone VS Lonely

Alone tells me that I am all by myself;with the sum of all my thoughts accompanying me.

Alone tells me that I am A ok.

Lonely eats away at the core of my soul.

It blares at me that no one wants me.

Alone is  a companion-I’m taking care of me when I am alone.

I am ALL ONE: Not giving away pieces of my heart.

Lonely is a screaming,shrieking night owl telling me,no one gives a God damn about me.

Alone says,”Know thyself.” It is my truth telling best friend.

Alone is that mirror to my soul into which I glimpse,helping me  keep it all real.

Lonely gets me to a point of feeling desperate where I’ll just be with people I don’t even like who don’t even celebrate  me;instead they barely tolerate.

Lonely compels me to settle for far less than what I deserve..

Alone leads me besides still waters

Alone makes me to lie down in green pastures

Alone,my soul is restored.

Lonely demands I join in the drama-be part of the chaos.

Lose myself in the voices of others so that no one will hear my unique voice. So my self expression will be buried before it even had the chance to be seen or heard from.

Alone- All One- It is the voice of unity. For when I get alone I hear clearly the voice of The Trinity. That triune sound that can only be heard when I’m quiet and all alone.

Lonely is the party goer.

Lonely is the star in the spot light.

Lonely is the drunk hobo.

Lonely is the tough lawyer in the Armani biz suit.

People don’t go mad when they’re alone.

Loneliness drives people to insanity and beyond.

Loneliness drives people to do the unthinkable.

People can be their best by day: A put together doctor who tends to her patients with care.

A pastor tending to his flock.

Parents parenting their children

But when the sun sets and loneliness creeps in ever so slowly and stealthily; those in the day good doers turn to  our secret vices. To drown out  that loneliness screaming like a mad black panther inside our heads. We drown that dark voice in liquor, drugs,sex,whatever it takes to keep that killer beast at bay.

Alone vs lonely…the two aren’t sisters,not even cousins. One is a choice,the other chooses you. The best stories ever told are about loneliness because we’re all suckers for tear jerkers and tales that break our hearts so that we can feel human once more. Alone vs lonely: Alone is chosen…loneliness chooses you. No one ever says,” I want to be lonely.” We crave being alone.

Eva Santiago copyright 2013

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MY VOICE

Who cares about applause. Why care about what people think of my thoughts. I don’t write them to pass their approval. I didn’t write this to get their thumbs up. I didn’t write this to get people to nod their heads in agreement. Whatever you think,whether you like it or not,I’ll always keep laying out my thoughts and putting them in full view for the whole world to see. For heaven to know I worked hard at relaying their message. And when hell hears my words,the darkness is pushed way back and their tormenting shrills hushed.

 

Shut up?! Not now! Not ever. As a child they shut me up but for a very short season. For my mind,though it was young,knew what it wanted to say.  It wasn’t the time yet.When I was a child I spoke as a child. Now the time has come to boldly declare what would have been deemed inappropriate because after all,I was  a young Latina. That was the strike held against me.

 

Alas, that was then, this is now. The old is done and the new is in. So yeah, this voice will not be drowned. It will continue long after  I’m gone because my children and their children’s children will hear it and know this warrior fought and prayed for them;even before they came into existence. Before they were even an inkling of a thought in anyone’s mind.

EVA SANTIAGO copyright 2013applause