Frailty is a funny thing. It talked her into a compromising situation. When she was strong she would proclaim “ I will never do that! “ . In her might she could scale a wall bare footed and topple several giants with her hand tied behind her back. She seemed invincible.
Now things are different. Battles have scarred her and she feels herself wavering. What was once firm ground now has turned into sinking sand. She said she would never stumble in matters of her heart and she did just that because weakness is peculiar. Her flaws continually beg for her attention. She looks in the mirror and where once stood a Jedi, now all she gazes at are the accusatory fingers that point to her and blame her for things that aren’t even her doing. That was her undoing back then and she wonders if it’ll contribute to her demise now.
She heard those voices back then and that’s how she lost her way. They drowned out her own voice and she followed the wrong ones, betraying herself. Now the image in the mirror begs her not to do it again. She is fragile and is succumbing more and more each day to what is comfortable because she has grown tired of the battles.
The conflict is in her soul and she knows there is a way out but she finds herself enjoying the darkness more than she thought possible. Being in the light this whole time has exhausted her. She finds opacity comforting, it’s where she can hide away, not having to worry so much about anything. The darkness beckons her daily; it is where light hasn’t reached yet. Those places longing for light’s exposure is where she treads lately. What she doesn’t realize is that as she visits those places, they are no longer in the dark because by illumination, they become won over territory.
Her darkness sees the light and it comprehends it not. It surrenders to the brilliance and that’s how she overcomes her weakness.
“It’s not by might nor power but by my Spirit,” says the Lord.
” Sin is basically the places of the heart where The Light hasn’t reached yet.” -Kim Clement
She thought the menacing clouds in the distant horizon could only mean one thing: Her certain destruction. She feared being obliterated in to oblivion. So Rosalma battened down the hatches of her sail boat and prepared for the worst. Oh she had seen it coming from afar for a while. Having been in control of her situations all of her life she always knew what to do. But there was something different with these dark clouds she kept seeing approaching closer everyday; esta tormenta es distinta,this storm is different, she told herself. She knew it was bigger than any rain storm she’d ever experienced before. Rosalma knew it, could feel it down to her core. But she decided not to run. She knew whatever came, even if she were to be stripped of her sails and tossed about in turbulent waters, she’d make it…at least she asked SOURCE every night for strength.
The day the deluge came started out in a strange calm. Rosalma looked out of her 2nd story bedroom window and she knew the light breeze and sun playing in the clouds above were lies. She had seen what was coming. Suddenly the day grew overcast and the thunder rolled. Her heart skipped a beat. Should she stay and weather the storm or go out to meet it face to face?
She gathered her long copper toned locks in a messy pony tail, threw on her fisherman’s sweater over her jeans and boots; grabbed her back pack and headed out to the marina. The clouds were building and the hues of grey changed constantly from grey to charcoal; reflecting her fears. Undaunted, Rosalma , was going for it. She knew in the storm lay her destiny.
Vamomos Chica! GO girl, she encouraged herself. She found her sail boat; she’d christened her ALMA after her abuela, grandma who’d walked the earth for 98 years and taught Rosalma all about the storm. Rosalma headed out in Alma to find her soul’s purpose.
The water was choppy and the air now nippy. Rosalma tightened her raincoat a bit more snugly around her petite 5.2 frame. The water was merciless and kept over powering the deck. But, Rosalma kept on. She knew destiny’s end was ahead and staying where it’s safe would never get her there.
Soon enough the storm was beating Rosalma up and knocking her around, with fists the size of the Hulk’s. Every time she thought it would let up, the struggle intensified. She desperately looked up for any sign of her tomentor letting up and the storm today seemed relentless. It wasn’t quitting and neither was Rosalma. Mid storm Rosalma’s spirit was sinking. She thirsted and no drop of water could satiate it. Water everywhere and none of it could quench. Water everywhere and nothing to stop the stench of hell’s flames. She wept and couldn’t tell where her tears began or ended. Her eyes swollen from the storm’s continuous beatings, felt like she was blind. She wanted to just lay there and give up and admit defeat on Alma’s deck. Who would blame her for quitting? Obviously this storm no man woman or child could overcome. So the minutes slipped away and her soul with them.
Until a light came from a light house. It was far off but the light shining from it was undeniable. Rosalma shot up to her feet. She steadied herself by grabbing on to a side rail. All of the sails on Alma now torn to bits; which hung on like rags on a homeless person. Her soul knew how that felt. She had seen the light ; though it was faint, she knew her destination to Port Désirée was just ahead. Through the rain storm came peace.
So what now? ALMA was not tossed about anymore. The storm’s rage was lessening and the wind no longer howled in distress. The light tower was in full view straight ahead. Rosalma shook a little inside. What lay ahead for her? She had left it all behind; brought absolutely no baggage on this journey. She wanted to travel light and get places faster. But now with all that was familiar to her gone, she knew not what she’d face next.
Through the rain storm came peace and Rosalma knew it was all well worth facing the storm that threatened to finish her off as it had done to so many of her ancestors. This new place was like a new addiction she could not deny. The light here seemed blinding only becase she had been in doom and gloom for so long. Rosalma was here to stay. This new place of color and no grey was where she would stay…
We all have tired, old jewelry that we keep in a drawer somewhere, right? This year, I decided to use some of my discarded earrings and bangles, along with my collection of antique buttons, and I turned them into vintage Christmas tree ornaments.
All you need is a glue gun with plenty of glue sticks, your trinkets and baubles, and your imagination! Get together with friends and family, have them bring their used costume jewelry and exchange some of yours with some of theirs. It’s a great way to get together and enjoy your holidays while you make some very personal ornaments for your tree. Best of all, you will create some new memories with your loved ones too!
Is what you let go
What stays is what you welcome
Is what you nurture
Is what you starve
Is what you discouraged
Is what you pruned
What is, is what you allowed
What is not, is what you dismissed
What you run away from
Is what will catch up with you
What you abandoned
Is what haunts you
What you refused to acknowledge
Is what will scream at you
In your loneliest of nights
The lie you told
Will tell on you
The truth you with held
Will annihilate you
The love you denied
Will embitter you
The hate you embraced
Will cripple you
You think you only die once?
Fools die stung by their own bitter gall
You think you only die once?
We’ve all been dying since the day we were born.
I sit here with you snuggled close to me
I see you
I hear you
I feel you
NOTHING else matters ,only this instant in time
More than this?
You know there is not a thing
My heart is exploding with the tiny pieces flying out
To touch God only knows what
And you’re touching me
In a way I never fathomed
My heart is so full
My pen is trembling
My knees are shaking
My heart beat accelerating
True love is here
Had my heart crushed so many times
And chances are it’ll be crushed some more
But one thing’s for certain…
I love you in a certain way
A love I never knew ’til you showed up
But one thing’s for sure, no matter how many more times my heart breaks
For you’re touching me with a new way of love
A certain way of love
A way that makes up for all of the crushing
Oh mi amor
My heart is exploding
And the pieces fly out to touch the expanse of the universe…
Hello Dear Followers! I have been a way for sometime due to one big reason: My daughter was pregnant and about to give birth to my first grand child. Meet Clara Isabel Brincat. She was a PLANNED unassisted home birth that took place on June 17,2014 at 3:55pm. Both mama and baby are doing GREAT during their baby moon and I am still elated to have become a grandma 🙂 In the next few days I will share with you some of my thoughts on having assisted my daughter in bringing this precious life into the world. I tell you once you have delivered a baby, you never see life the same again!!!!
EVA SANTIAGO copyright 2014