FORCED to FIND MY FAMILY…
I was certain I would never know the love of a mother for myself. God has a wonderful way of completing us when we least expect it and with the most unlikely people. I have been friends with Margaret for 20 years. We met back in Atlanta at a time when I would not allow myself to peek into my damaged,trauma filled past. Margaret came into my life back then with arms opened.
She would look at me with such warmth,enough to begin the process of melting the glacier that was taking over my heart in those days. She knew what I needed emotionally and freely gave it;for the first time in my early 20’s I experienced a mother’s unconditional love and I craved for more.Much like a new-born in dire need at feeding time.
My heart broke when a few years after meeting her our lives changed,sending both of us in different directions temporarily. Like everything else in my life,I embraced the new changes ,still clinging to Margaret even from afar.
A few years ago I reconnected with her and I felt great to have been able to become re-acquainted with another member of my family. Ever since then I have chosen to call her Mamacita because she embodies everything I have ever imagined about having my mother.
Have you been ostracized by your own blood relatives as I have been? We all have choices to make. We can stay bitter in our isolation or the alternative is to open our hearts to the people who God sends into our lives to give us the family we need. I chose to forgive and stay open to what God has for me. People get blessed with good looks,good genes,talents wealth and strong family ties. I was not one of the fortunate who comes from a loving family;this set
me on a course that forced me to search out and find a family of my own. And I have,through my friends.
Fear will hold some of us bound ,keeping us from opening our hearts to those who offer to love us.We all come into this world in dire need of love;yet few of us are brave enough to admit our need to ourselves and to others.
Mamacita,thank you for offering me your cup! It was you who offered a drink from your over flowing vessel;to this dusty,weary,thirsty traveler. Cheers to you and I will forever be thankful that you did! Had you not offered, I would not have had the courage to ask you for a drink!
Te amo…tu hija
-Eva Santiago copyright 2012