Just Believe: Part5


My parents have always been here for me as I live out my journey with kidney failure; I get strength from both my mom and dad who were always by my bed every time I have been hospitalized. They would get upset when I would play “forbidden” games such as football and basketball and the tube in my chest would fall out; I knew they were telling me not to only because they love me and were looking out for me. They didn’t want to see me go through more than what I was already going through. At times my mom has been strong for both my dad and I.

There was a time when my dad was terribly ill too and we both ended up in the hospital. There my mom was taking care of both of us; running back and forth between our hospital rooms and still having to take care of my other siblings at home and making sure that they did what they were supposed to. I have often marveled at my mother, wondering how she can be so strong for all of us. She is like an immovable tower; a light house with a one beacon of light that steers all the incoming ships safely into the harbour. My mom has held our whole family together during the storms and she’s guided all of us to safety. I believe in guardian angels because I live with one everyday and her name is Sharon-I thank God for my mom everyday.

On days when I’m feeling really sick, especially after dialysis or lately, chemotherapy; I don’t like to wear it on my sleeve. I try to be strong for my family because I know it hurts them to see me struggling. So I put on my tough guy face for them. There are times though, that I have to let my wall down because I can’t take it anymore and so I go to my mom; she’s the only one I tell just how bad it really is for me. I have this one wish: I long to take care of my mom like she does me.

I have been living with kidney failure for 7 years, now and I’m 21; My mom still comes to every doctor’s appointment with me and if I have to stay in the hospital, she still never leaves my side. Manny- my dad tries his best too. Back when we were all younger, he would take turns with my mom, staying at the hospital with me while my mom went home to take care of the rest of us and vice versa. Even though his health is not the best, he does as much as he is able to for us and I thank God for him too.
There was a time when I was really hurt by my dad’s drinking; it came to the point where I couldn’t stand to be around him. His behavior was hurting all of us and I resented him for not being there for me as much as I needed him. I wanted to yell at him and tell him to man up and do his part so my mom didn’t have to always be taking care of all the kids by herself. But that’s all water under th.e bridge now because I have learned to forgive him; he’s just like me, we both make mistakes and mercy has taught me to be merciful with him. Now I’m closer to him than when this whole crisis blind-sided my whole family. If you’re parents are still around, thank them for all they’ve done for you and if they have made mistakes forgive them and let them off the hook because after all, they are only human like all of us.
Coming up next, I will tell you about some of the close calls JR has had with death…
Eva Santiago Copyright 2011

3 thoughts on “Just Believe: Part5

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