J.O.W.K. Mom/ Daughter Competition

Dear Diary,

Something has to give here. I am the daughter of an extremely competitive mother. I conclude that my mom lives her life through me. She and I are the complete opposite; I am more introverted and she is the life of every party. She was high school prom queen and at the rate I’m going, I’m not sure if I’ll ever get asked out on a date. As I have gotten older she is getting more competitive with me.

She always seems to come up with these mother-daughter projects for us to do. Sometimes I just wish she would get to know me as a person; then she might see how not like her I am. When I was around 5 or 6 I wanted to play the violin; daddy brought one home and as I ran my small hands on the smooth varnished wood, I closed my eyes and I could picture myself playing it. My mom would have none of it and she just told daddy to get rid of the horrid thing. Ever since then I still look back and I still wish I could take violin lessons.

More recently, my mom has decided that she and I are going to model in pageants together. I for one hate the spot light but just to go along with mom and because at least this gets her to pay attention to me, I play along. But I’m getting really freaking tired of the whole thing. She won a couple of tiaras in the past and she rubs my face in her victories every single time. In April we have another pageant to go to in Dallas and I am dreading it so much. This time there is a talent segment of the competition and mom has decided that we’ll both dance. Now my mom is an excellent dancer; she won many trophies during her school days. I love to dance and I’ve only won an honorable mention at a school dance off . I just know my mom is going to wow the judges while I’m  left behind in the dust of yet another one of her “mommy and me” competitions.

I wish my mom would wake up and see how much she is hurting our relationship. The world is a tough place and having to compete with your own parent doesn’t help at all.I’ve had people tell me to suck it up because mom is doing this for me. REALLY?? I don’t see it like that at all because this whole thing is more about mom than me. Mom if you read this, please understand that all I want is for you to pay attention to me and to love me regardless of whether I win big for you or not. Thanks for listening.

 

Bekka M. Collinsworth

 

-Eva Santiago copyright 2012

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